Struggling to maintain friendships

Hi guys my name is Nicky and I am an old member here, I find myself back here today. I suffer from depression and have done for many years, physiatrists have queried bipolar but we never got around to actually getting a diagnosis or to have the idea squashed either.

I am feeling alot lately like if i don't message friends daily or they don't text me that they somehow are in a mood with me or that I have done something wrong....

Am I alone in feeling like this?

16 Replies

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  • Hi storm4mozza

    Welcome or should I say Welcome back to our friendly, supportive & non-judgemental forum for depression!

    Feel Free to post as and when you need to. We will do our best to support you as much as we are able!

    I'm sure our members will be in touch with you soon!

    Warm Wishes spykey 🤗

  • Thankyou so much

  • Nope,Nicky, thats the depression talking in your head that has a character of its own. Why when depressed our minds start working against us I have no idea , it sounds to me suspiciously like treachery ,but there's no doubt it happens.

    When depressed its quite difficult to be outgoing enough to message daily but I'm sure your real friends will continue to value you very much even if you don't "speak" every day. In fact they might be glad to cut back a bit, its terribly time consuming. Just make sure you don't let "silences" go on too long as maintaining friendships is important but it does n't need a message every day. I'm sure you're friendships are based on something more solid than that.

    Olderal

  • Thankyou so much, the treachery made me smile :D

  • No you are not alone only difference is that I actually did lose a lot of friends when I was in an abusive relationship and had a breakdown over 12 years ago now. I've never really regained those friendships back. I just tend to isolate myself a lot as it's safer if that makes sense. It will be your depression though, you constantly do question yourself and if you have done anything wrong and it's part of it.

  • Thanks so much for the reply Katie, sorry to hear you lost some friends.

  • Oh thank you I am ok. In a much better place relationship wise now and have kids to keep me busy but I do miss chatting with female friends. I have a few good friends but they live miles away. I guess people just become busy with their own lives. Just take it each day at a time and try talking to those who want to listen as much as possible you will get through it x

  • I hope your right

  • Hi storm 4mozza like yourself im a old hand here i my self suffer from depression and other health problems at times i really struggle but take it one day at a time ! I like your self panic when i cant get in touch with someone i think ive done something to make them avid me and nearly always ive got its wrong take care and dont be afraid to message me if you need to talk david

  • Thankyou so much David this made me feel better, I feel so bad I actually bit a mates head off today at the school gates and feel like a terrible person

  • Working at keeping friends is very important.

    Unfortunately I haven't and regret it greatly

  • no you are not alone. I am exactly the same

  • Hello Nicky.

    You are not alone at all. It's horrible isn't it?

    I do the same as you. When my depression is bad I just shut myself away, I find it hard to go out, do shopping etc.

    I haven't seen one of my friends for a few weeks now. I think she thinks I don't like her or I don't want to be friends. It's not that at all. It's just depression.

    It is so hard for me to be sociable. It's like I don't have the energy to talk sometimes.

    Does yours pass or is it there most of the time?

    Best wishes ❤️

  • Hey, it passes on and off and it's really annoying especially when I make plans and then struggle to keep them :/ best of luck x

  • And here is me thinking that if I contact my friends more than once a year they will think I am getting too needy :( Maybe I should make more effort to keep in touch

  • Hi Classy78 , I am exactly the same as you as I don't want to be sociable when a bout of anxiety/ depression comes on. I text my friends and tell them that until I feel ok I prefer to text or email. I know there will be some that don't understand but most do. Only good thing with not wanting to go out shopping my Marks and Spencer monthly bill is zero instead of about £80. It helps to know others have the same problems xx

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