I need help

[bananacrempie]

I don't know what's wrong with me but I know there's something not right. I've had clinical depression and anxiety since I was a kid. my moods were ALWAYS low.

but for the last year I've been experiencing something completely different and I'm not sure what it is.

I've had super drastic mood changes. but it's not just black and white sad or happy. I have ups where I have so much energy I can't contain it so I end up pacing and my mind won't stop racing. I have so many ideas flowing through my head that I can't concentrate on just one. sometimes I get voices in my head that sound like I'm in a mall and there's so many people speaking at once.

then in an instant I can be incredibly down and I feel so tired and helpless and low.

these swings last anywhere from an hour to a full 2 days.

I'm on celexa and anxiety meds but they don't seem to be working. I can't get into a therapist for a few weeks because of my schedule so I just wanted a peace of mind and for someone to talk to me about it. so I thought I'd try here.

any ideas of what's going on with me?

[Yflores87]

Hello new friend! I am not sure what it is you may have but I can say I know what you mean. I have been like that for a while now and it's been a rollercoaster. I have changed meds and seen therapist but still I have those feelings. It's been hard to speak to my family about it at times and it's nice to have someone that knows exactly what those feelings are. I am here for someone to talk to.

[bananacrempie in reply to Yflores87]

i'm not sure what i have either. its been exhausting. i've talked to some friends that have mental health issues but they're not sure either. im scared to see a therapist because i have this irrational fear they're going to tell me i'm fine and send me on my way, when in fact i do have something wrong with me. when im in my ups, i feel as though i'm on top of the world and theres nothing wrong with me and i feel stupid for even thinking about seeing a therapist. but then in my downs its like i feel like everything is wrong with me.

i'm here if you also want to talk to someone! i'm glad someone understands how i feel. i feel less alone.

[Yflores87 in reply to bananacrempie]

Seeing a therapist will help. I felt the same way about seeing one. But once I did it made me feel good to tell her what I was feeling and dealing with. Therapy was a good place to start and get feedback. Do you have a primary doctor you see? I ask because they are a great resource to get the help u may need to see what can be causing this. I was advised to see a psychiatrist which I am wanting to try. They will have a little more in depth to what could be wrong. So see what resources your doctor can help with or refer you too. What is the mood you have most of? Or is it about the same?

[bananacrempie in reply to Yflores87]

i've seen therapists before but i had to stop because i couldn't afford it. i recently found a therapist and a psychiatrist that i can afford, but i can't see them until May. it's hard for me to wait a whole month to even start the process of whats going on inside my head.

i have a family doctor but i tried talking to him about how i was feeling and it seemed like he just didn't care and prescribed me celexa and an anxiety med. and they haven't really made a difference.

my moods are pretty much 50/50. and they change drastically without anything triggering them.

[mjr97]

An Unquiet Mind

, Kay Redfield Jamison. This book was written by a clinical psychologist who had Bi-polar disorder. May give you some insight into how she deals with her condition and may help you see if there are any similarities in your mood swings right now.

[bananacrempie in reply to mjr97]

thank you! i'll definitely look into it!!

[Nikki72]

It sounds a bit like nervous exhaustion - the nerves giving you so much energy you can't concentrate, and then the exhaustion wiping you out afterwards.