Hi I’m a 18 year old guy, been a little .... throughout my life so far, but looking at it now it kept getting worse and worse. I was diagnosed with ADHD, and ODD when I was 10 and was trying different meds to help me through school up to the age of 14/15 at which point I started refusing to take them. I saw someone regularly who then diagnosed me with anxiety and depression issues and was taking fluoxetine for a while. I ended up out of school because I kept mucking around, lack of concentration and not taking it all seriously. I messed up in year 10 and 11 leaving school with nothing except regrets and wish’s to change it. Now I’m 18, think smoking dope each day is helping my anxiety and helping me function, when really it’s just hiding the problem.
My life now id say is good, I got my family, got a job, girl, friends, but have felt for months and months now that there is something not right. As if I’m lost, in my feelings, I don’t know how I feel truely. I struggle talking to people, as in holding convosations and making conversation, and I’m always nervous I think. If there’s ever a problem that upsets me or creates a change for me i can’t settle until it’s resolved or I fully understand what’s going on, otherwise it’s on my mind a lot. I turn to drugs when it’s all too much which is become a problem for me too.
I just need someone to talk to I think, I have had councillors and support workers, family, friends, doctors, but I think I just need someone to listen.
Any ideas to help settle my anxiety?
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User209909
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You need chill out a bit – take a step back and have a bit of me time, don’t worry about anyone else but yourself. Stop worrying about the world or what -ever, you’ve got your whole life in front of you, this is the time to party or blow all cash on something crazy and it’s the time we all make many mistakes, but that’s how we all learned. When you hit 25 you’re expected to act more grown up.
You said “I struggle talking to people and making conversation, and I’m always nervous”. I was the same many years ago, but now I don’t shut up lol. Until someone told me this.
Everyone of one of us thinks that we have the ability to read others people’s minds and also think they care about how we look- “Every time they look at us we think they are judging us or we think they are looking at that big spot on your face or the bags under your eyes” but really no -one cares, if you have blue eyes or big nose. We are all too busy wrapped around our own life to worry about anyone else
When you say you turn to drugs do you mean smoking dope? I would recommend you look at what type you smoke as in strength and try go with more day time one. I would not call dope drugs but that’s just my view. If your taking anything else then you do really need to look at that.
All the best and I hope you get the help and feel free to message me if there’s anyway I can help you.
Firstly Hello😄 Secondly poor you. I fully understand your predictament and wish I could sit and listen to you, I have had similar with one of my sons. As you are 18 have you ever seen a Psychriastrist? We knew that Paulo our son was far from right, he now knows what is wrong with him after seeing a Psychriastrist . You cannot carry on at your age not feeling well, obviously smoking pot did not help but it's what young people do. There is help out there but it does also depend where you live, is it the UK? I sat and listened for hours to my son, could your parents help by listening to you? If you don't want to worry them then go to your GP and ask for a referal ASAP. On the positive side you have a job, family, friends and you aknowledge you need help, also have you read about CBT? Do not despair and contact me anytime, you will overcome this 👍👍🤗
Life is flying by you, User209909 ? ? ? Me too ! ! ! Time cannot be stopped, so its "flying us all by" ( - and its been more than a couple of decades since I was 18. 18 ! ! ! 18 ! ! ! Lucky you !). But you DO express yourself very well - and the RIGHT guidance could help immensely, I'm inclined to think - a GREAT, expressive title line ! Well done !
Some few initial pointers:
a) AIM to make the best of each and every day, every hour, every moment ( - without seeking to run away from your emotions, or masking them with medication or drugs, although it may take time to work towards this steadily: it takes an understanding of WHAT to practice, HOW to practice those things , and then gently doing those practices).
b) Read (an old book) by Paul Hauck, "Overcoming Depression" ( - inexpensive pre-owned copies on fleebay, and the like !). Read this SLOWLY and STEADILY and . . . . see how you get on. (It turned out to be one of the BETTER books I ever found ! ! !). Let us know here how you get on, . . . . in due course - if you would please ! ;~) [In 4- 6 weeks ? ? ?] Note to whom the book is dedicated too, for further & later investigations !
c) understand ( - as you already seem to !) that seeking distraction from or MASKING your unpleasant-seeming emotions ( - with prescribed medications or other drugs) is a POOR, usually unhelpful LONGER term choice: quite apart from any unwanted side-effects of prescribed drugs, which are not always as effective in everyone, there are financial and health costs too associated with alcohol, cigs, dope etc.). PLENTY of people have led healthy happy lives with few prescribed and NO other drugs ( - including alcohol): experiment with leading a cleaner, HEALTHIER life in this (and other) respect(s): lack of reliance on these can bring considerable FREEDOM ( - from addictions, pain, financial ruin etc.) and therefore increased LIFE satisfaction - what we ALL aim for to one extent or other, isn't it ? ? ?
d) there are PLENTY of other books by the v. experienced Paul Hauck ( - once you've read the above, I suggest) including "How to be you best friend". Your ELOQUENT post towards LIVING a better life suggests you're already invested in YOUR BEST longer term interests - GREAT ! ! ! Nought wrong with that & WELL DONE, really WELL DONE ! ! ! Its now time to start the next leg of work towards that, as soon as convenient to you: will you get Paul H.'s book and start reading it ? ? ? ( - as ONE specific suggestion). Slow & steady, . . . . one SHORT chapter at a time !
Cheers Mate - you have a long journey called "the rest of your life" to unfold, day by day; may it be as happy and healthy as possible, aided with the above guidance. You ARE in the driving seat: MAKE the most sensible choices for CLEAN living . . . . . and those CHOICES are likely to serve you well in the decades to come.
It IS possible to have a GOOD life - it just takes an UNDERSTANDING of how . . . . and the PRACTICE of reward-producing, useful choices. Peace of mind is ONE important target for which to aim - and this is MORE likely by UNDERSTANDING some of the more common concepts producing ( - and preventing) this in us, sometimes frail but often RESOURCEFUL and ingenious homo sapiens ( - a QUIET unique of species in the ENTIRE universe !).
Hi user209909 and welcome to this caring forum. It must have been very difficult for you when you were diagnosed with ADHD and ODD at ten years of age. As you say, there are many positive aspects about your life now, but you continue to experience some problems. Doing a self confidence building course may help you. Local colleges sometimes run these, so it is worth enquiring. If you are in the UK, you could be supported by CAMHS [Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services]
CAMHS have health professionals who can help you overcome your need to use drugs. You say you are aware that using drugs is not helping your anxiety or helping you to function and this is a big step forward. Please also have a look at the pinned posts on the screen as they have some information on there that you may find helpful.
You are most welcome to talk to other members on this forum who can offer advice and support. Also you may find the following website helpful to help with your anxiety---
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