how to react on mean comments.

[simo2o]

Hi, I am 21 years old, new to the corporate world. I have recently started my job. Since I was in school I always had few friends. I was never a attention seeker nor I ever wanted. Yes I am not too confident about my looks but then I never cared much. The biggest problem I had in all my school plus college life is that I am never good with new people. Outside my group I think I will never fit. I get too conscious around new people that they start making fun of me and I try to laugh with them too. I don't know if this makes me strong or more weak because at that point of time, I really don't know how to react and people thinks this is okay to make fun of me. I am also bad at confronting people, I am not good with giving people reply to there mean comments, I don't want to hurt because I can't and if I can I will still avoid hurting anyone because if I will do that I know I will be the one who will suffer the most. I am strong in my group but I am weakest to outside world. Also one of the biggest problem with me is that most of the times I am too confused whether it is a small decision or big ones, I changes my decision with in seconds because of my mood because of my confused personality sometimes even people gets irritated with me and sometimes even I get irritate with myself. I really don't know if anyone will be able to help me or not but thank you for listening.

[kenster1]

hi if your close circle of friends treat you with respect like you for who you are then that's all you need really.if these other people poke fun at you then the less you mingle with them the better.why not speak to one of them and in a polite way express your feelings that your feeling hurtful with some of there comments.everyone is different in how they look if you feel happy with in yourself then that's what counts most.your not weak just sensible to walk away.in fact if you walk away then it shows you are stronger than then,its them who have insecurities about them and not you.

[sweetiepye]

Hi Sim, When I was your age I lacked confidence in myself, I was afraid to speak up or confront people when they were not so nice to me. When people find out they can be rude , or push you around they take full advantage and never let up. So at some point you have to learn to deal with it. Walking away might get you out of a situation ,but it won't help you or make you feel better about yourself. I used to replay conversations in my mind to see what I could have said that would let me control the situation. For instance if someone asked a question I didn't want to answer I would simply ask back ' why in the world do you want to know that?' Or I might say I don't answer personal questions. At work I didn't talk about my family, The less you tell people about yourself the easier it is. It takes practice and sometimes you have to go back at a later time and revisit the subject .You could say ' remember last week when you told me I was white, well that really hurt me and I want you to know that I am purple. I'm not really purple I just couldn't think of anything else. Hope this helps a little. Pam