Breakup

[Pepper1995]

Hi,

I have been going through a relationship breakup for the last two years and I’m really suffering with sickness and low self esteem. I’m really struggling to keep it together! Any advice?

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Pepper1995, Welcome to our community. I'm sorry you are having a tough time of it at the moment. Hopefully you will find folks here are very supportive and many will share similar experiences. Have you had a chat with your doctor recently, to discuss how you are feeling, as they sickness they may be able to investigate and treat. Also, he/she could refer you for talking therapies which you may find helpful. Check out our pinned post section for useful information.

Keep in touch.

Best wishes

[sweetiepye]

Hello pepper, Do you mind telling me why it's taking 2 years to break up? Are you having doubts or is it financial ? I'm going through a similar experience myself, and after receiving lots of great advice on here I have decided I need to find an answer that fits me. I may have to invent my own style of divorce. If you give me more information I think I might be able to help you a little. Pam

[Pepper1995 in reply to sweetiepye]

Hi Pam, my partner has had real problem adjusting to being around my kids, he has felt bottom if the heap and so we have been off and on for at least two. Years. He drinks but has recently given up. The whole thing has put me on egg shells. He is now buying a flat to share with his son. I now feel empty and have been ill for at least 6 months. I know there is no going back but I’m finding it exceptionally hard to face life alone again x

[Foof]

Any man who resents being second best to children, and there are a very large number of them, is going to bleed you dry.

It’s a huge red flag. Somebody who cannot meet his own needs and is looking for someone to take responsibility for his happiness.

Im Sorry this is harsh but he has been emotionally Blackmailing you and playing manipulative games....but he can because he knows you are afraid of being alone.

It goes back to expectations again. Your expectations for this relationship ship did not meet reality, but you kept trying with the hope of your end goal.

It was NEVER going to be like that.

Don’t allow your fear to give people a hold over you. Change your mindset.

This is an opportunity to get out of a vicious circle of crap. Consider what you want your future to look like with what you know you have in your life. No Prince Charming please😜

It takes a long time to enjoy being alone, relishing your own company and it is something we should all aspire to. If only because you would never be afraid of being alone. And that is a strength that people cannot manipulate.

Yes, it gets lonely at times but for me, that is so much more preferable to another human being dictating whether I have a good or bad day.

Try and be objective about this relationship.

What needs did you want it to meet? And which ones did it meet?

Which of those needs are you honest about? Which ones make you vulnerable to someone who would exploit that albeit subconsciously.

What is the lesson here and are you going to,learn it or will it have to be taught again?

Xxxx

[Pepper1995]

Hi Foof, yes it’s starck realisation,when you know its all amounted to a great deal of heartbreak for everyone, but I know that this is the right way to go. I waited far too long to call it a day! I know I’ve just got to get him out of my head and move on. I’m just feeling ill and low which brings me down 🙁🙁