I am lost

[RacerT]

I realize that I see the glass half empty. I always think the worst of any and most situations.. I don't think I was always this way. I eventually became this way because of the people around me and my life experiences and a verbal abusive marriage. Nevertheless, I really struggle with my thoughts. Sometimes, my thoughts are so obessive to the point I feel as though they are being put in my mind by something else. Every little pain, pressure, tightness, tingling, stiffness, bulging, anything at all, I think something is wrong and go to ER with nothing wrong except for panic attacks. Most recently I accuse my sister of something that was not true but I really thought it was. She has since disowned me as well as my other family members. What is wrong with me? How can I get my family and friends to forgive me?

[Hidden]

Ask for forgiveness from God...