Why am I like this?

[Wwwm]

I'm overweight. My room is always in a terrible mess - it has books and clothes strewn all over and has not been swept clean in months. I find I lag behind my peers in all aspects. They are all optimistic and motivated about their future and have taken concrete steps to make a good future a reality, liking investing quality time in job applications. I have been procrastinating doing the same thing because I feel so hopeless about my future, that I don't think any number of job applications would help. I frequently get upset over things at my current workplace that most people deal with without having to vent or complain. I am very inhibited at my workplace. I rarely connect with my co-workers or talk to them unless there is a professional reason to.

I also find I am still emotionally dependent on my parents (I'm nearly 23). They have health issues and far from taking care of them, like most adults like me should do, I still depend on their advice and motivation. Why am I like this and could I ever improve?

[Splash01]

Well nothing throws you off in life more than honking you have to have it together at 23! You are SO SO young! I too am 23 and have had similar feelings. I think in this time in our lives it's hard to find who we are, we are almost done with college or maybe just starting. You don't have to decide about your future right this minute! It takes time to figure out who you are, who you want to be, and what you want to do! It's okay to be dependent on your parents that's what they're here for! Don't feel bad about that! I still live with my parents and rely on them for lots of things! Start by taking a career quiz online or try finding something you're really interested in and go for it!!! No need to panic! We got this shit! 💙💙

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Splash01]

Awesome Splash!

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

If you are overweight could it be poor diet choices and lack of exercise? It is for me. If your room is a mess could it be because you don’t clean it up? It is for me. If you are upset at work could it be that your job is not fulfilling to you? I don’t have that issue per say. I’m retired. If you are not connecting with your coworkers could it be that you don’t put yourself out there? It is for me.

I have depression. Severe anxiety. Among other things. I call it all in one lump sum “the beast” The beast sucks the life out of you. It makes you hate living like that yet not caring enough to fix it. Simple problems with simple answers made highly problematic by the beast. You need to go to a doctor and discuss your situation. Hopefully a therapist to help you get to the root of the problem, develop coping skills, relaxation techniques etc. It is so beneficial. Maybe a life coach. You need to decide what you meant in your life. You can be someone else. It’s already taken. Don’t compare yourself to everyone else. Everyone is different.

My son is 23. He lives with me. He suffers like you do. He’s lonely and lacks motivation. He probably gets it from me. You need to make a goal or goals and a list of steps toward accomplishing those goals. One step at a time. As far as your parents if you were out and the hospital called saying they were sick or hurt what would you do? I’m very close to my mom. She is in 70’s and has major heart problems. We take care of each other depending on who needs it more. I am a grandma from my step son. Yet if I get sick, upset etc I can’t call my mom fast enough. That’s normal. Emotional dependence is different than physical dependence. Not living with them even but relying on them physically to do your laundry, cook for you, clean for you although many people your age do it should begin to taper off. It just sounds like you have wonderful parents who love you. There is nothing wrong with wanting emotional support. I joined this site to have someone to talk to instead of stressing my mom out. Her heart can’t handle it all. I also know as a mom if my child at any age was hurting it would kill me to know I wasn’t doing everything I could to help him.

I think first you need to get your depression manageable. You sound like a young me. So I’m not judging you by any means. I’m giving you advice that I should be using. My house is a mess. I have no goals or motivation. I’m working on things but it’s all baby steps. One step st a time. That’s all you can do in our situation. I’m here for you if you ever need advice. From a mom. I’m stronger when I’m in mom mode. I worked in medical field most of my adult life also. I suffer like you. I’m still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Feel free to message me for motherly or medical or just peer advice anytime. I’ve got a few years on you. I’m not saying I’m in better shape I’ve just experienced things for a longer time.

Much love!