Hello everybody :)

[seanjoshh]

Hello, all.

I am new to this forum. It's good to see a lot of people here share their stories, so i love to share mine too.

I'm 22, male. I don't know if this is called depression or what. It feels like i'm pitying myself for being alone, but i have no interest on building a relationship right now. I was and i am a taciturn. I mostly talk to someone if there is something really need to talk and rarely ask about someone's condition. Not because i don't care, but i don't want to be nosy. That's why i don't have lot of friends.

I do have a few (church, office, ex-office, high school friends), but they are just 'friends'. The last time i have a buddy, he was at the end cancelling lot of meetings with me. He has his own community, and spending a lot of time with them. I know it is completely his right to do anything he like. And i take it as a error in me, demanding someone to be in close to me for every time. I'm sure he didn't know that i was taking it quite seriously. I've been letting go the feeling a few times, hoping that he wouldn't repeat the same thing, but i've been let down every time. I don't hate him, i just feel like 'we are going to be just ordinary friend.'

I can say that I honestly do still help my friends when they are in need, i'm not hating them, but i feel like i'm not eager to building another new relationship.

So slowly i put distance on him, and sadly putting myself away from instagram (my main social interaction), including the only girl i love since i was kiddo. It just feels like 'okay, i can live alone without any friend."

I do know that i'm surrounded by people who care for me. But for me, it helps nothing. On the other side, i know that my expectation of looking for 'true friend' is somehow too high and maybe only happen in movie/tale.

I don't know if i'm growing up to be this kind of person. I don't really care about building the connections for marketplace, or another money-making things. I do say that having a less good quality of relationship is better than having a lot but looks fake.

So, here is my story. I could add more details but it's gonna be a super long one then.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Seanjoshh and welcome to this supportive community. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story so far with everyone. It is good to share what you are feeling because it helps to put in in prospective. I am sure that soon other members will also share with you. For now take care of yourself and stay safe. Are there any members who would like to post to Sean?

Best wishes to you.