I have been seeing a doctor for almost a year with my initial concern being anxiety. I am taking meds for my anxiety and for the most part they work, but I'll have moments where I break and my fears overwhelm me. I find that I fear going out to social events (not for school though because it's routine), I fear leaving the house because people look at me in disgust (especially in the summer when I am not covered as much), and I have overall low self-esteem that relates to my fears.
I get most anxious about seeing other people, but mostly them seeing me. When people look at me, I get really uncomfortable because I fear the judgements the person looking at me is making. The idea of people looking at me/thinking about me/talking about me, makes me nervous because I feels like it can only be negative.
In time when I panic (usually crying for a few hours, having chest pain, and not knowing why I am scared), I think about how much I hate myself, how my life isn't right, and that I will ultimately amount to nothing. Things that I am upset about are usually my weight, my appearance (structurally and things I can't change), my intelligence, and my awkwardness.
I feel like something is wrong with me, both in that my fears are a reality and that I fears these things at all. What do I do?