I've been struggling with depression since my late teens, it comes and goes with various severity and for varying lengths of time. I'm currently really down; I can't think, I cry all the time, I don't care about ANYTHING and I want to do nothing. Not nothing like lie on the sofa, NOTHING.. like not exist nothing. I want to sleep and not wake up until I feel better. I have problems and stresses, as always, like everyone does but when I feel like this the only solution my brain gives me is death. I'm not going to kill myself but it's upsetting that my usually sparkly, imaginative brain can only come up with that.. come on brain!! Start working!
I know this will pass. My problem is that life doesn't wait for me to get better. I miss out on opportunities, I let people down, I lose jobs, I annoy people who don't understand, and yet again I'm having to move home to recover because I can't function. Left to my own devices I'd be fine in a while but lying on my back, staring at the ceiling doesn't pay the rent.
How can I achieve my full potential with this curse? I spend so much time being depressed and then recovering from it financially and professionally that I feel I'm really falling behind in life. Any suggestions are welcome xx