Lately I've been having suicidal thoughts..I've had them on and off for years but they usually go away pretty quickly..I attempted suicide 4 years ago but couldn't go through with it.I have severe anxiety and depression. I'm also in recovery for addiction. I feel like I've screwed my entire life and can't take anymore. No more loneliness. .fear. .shame. .I guess I'm having an existential crisis where I don't feel I have any reason or purpose. I know intellectually this too shall pass and all that..plus the devastation to my family if I topped myself. .but it seems the thoughts are intensifying and I'm scared I might just think oh well I'll just be off then and Act on impulse.I've told my gp..I'm waiting for some cbt..I'm on mirtazipine. what else can I do? I volunteer and spend time with friends. Any info or help would be really appreciated.