hey everyone. need life advice. im a final yr med student in india. im 23 yrs old. im feeling depressed for the past 8 yrs or so. i got these feelings when i was in junior high i think. i felt left out and found it difficult to understand how to make friends. i felt uncomfortable at times at other peoples laughter and thought that i should laugh along with them even when i felt they werent being funny. my grades were top class though until the end of high school.. but my feelings got worse. i got myself stuck in a groove since i was unable to understand what r feelings in the first place...and then i started overthinking...i thought if i exist and all of existence is god then is negative feelings and evil..part of god as well...including good. but i couldnt find a solution to that idea even now. though i thought that both good and evil is god..i got stuck with the bad mindset...and i looked at the bad around me as an assurance that my way of thinking wsnt wrong. then things went downhill from there...i was stone faced...failed my first yr of engineering (mainly stayed at home and watched porn, read manga etc). my parents got worried and packed me off to india to med school. there my feelings got worse...my classmates described me as a walking zombie...even though i look nerdy...i spent all my time watching porn and reading manga...i started to get all kinds of negative thoughts...hopelessness anxiety..envy jealousy...and thought that i was abnormal because i couldnt fit with the laughter of my peers. i now am unsure if im cut out to be a doctor. final exams r nearing and im writing this post..