i need help

[pank1]

hey everyone. need life advice. im a final yr med student in india. im 23 yrs old. im feeling depressed for the past 8 yrs or so. i got these feelings when i was in junior high i think. i felt left out and found it difficult to understand how to make friends. i felt uncomfortable at times at other peoples laughter and thought that i should laugh along with them even when i felt they werent being funny. my grades were top class though until the end of high school.. but my feelings got worse. i got myself stuck in a groove since i was unable to understand what r feelings in the first place...and then i started overthinking...i thought if i exist and all of existence is god then is negative feelings and evil..part of god as well...including good. but i couldnt find a solution to that idea even now. though i thought that both good and evil is god..i got stuck with the bad mindset...and i looked at the bad around me as an assurance that my way of thinking wsnt wrong. then things went downhill from there...i was stone faced...failed my first yr of engineering (mainly stayed at home and watched porn, read manga etc). my parents got worried and packed me off to india to med school. there my feelings got worse...my classmates described me as a walking zombie...even though i look nerdy...i spent all my time watching porn and reading manga...i started to get all kinds of negative thoughts...hopelessness anxiety..envy jealousy...and thought that i was abnormal because i couldnt fit with the laughter of my peers. i now am unsure if im cut out to be a doctor. final exams r nearing and im writing this post..

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello pank1. Welcome to this community. I am sorry to hear you have been struggling with these issues for so many years.

On the positive side it is a great achievement that you have now reached your final year of medical studies. Having worked hard to get to this point perhaps the stress and workload is causing some of this anxiety and hopelessness you are feeling at the moment.

Is there anybody you can talk to? Perhaps a family member or a friend not studying with you?

If you are feeling distressed it may help to speak to one of the organisations in India to be found at the link below.

shawmindfoundation.org/supp...

Please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on. I am sure our supportive community will be able to share their experiences and thoughts with you.

Best Wishes

[pank1 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

yes it might be the stress of med school. but if u dont mind me asking what is ur opinion on the statement 'be urself' or 'be true to urself'. thanks for answering. i have my mom with me right now and i throw all my queries at her at times. i feel so silly that i have to ask such questions. i feel as if i should know the answer

[sweetiepye]

Hello Pank, In the best of all worlds we wouldn't lie to ourselves, but in this world we do. There are many reasons for this, for example we want to please other people to get their approval or love. When we do this we aren't being true to ourselves and we pay a price for that. For example we may become depressed, dissatisfied with life, angry It can be a long list of negative behavior. This doesn't come from God who is positive and good, and gives us the tools to overcome the negative in life. If you are not a believer in God then you must look into yourself and find the good there. Perhaps you need to rethink your mission in life, or maybe you need to rethink how to use what you have accomplished so far in a different way. You may use your education as a Doctor in many ways. You could teach , write, do research, establish free clinics, become an online Doctor. I'm sure there are many more ideas, you only need to think of what you enjoy doing and find a way to work being a Doctor into it. Cruise ship? I'm sure porn sets might need a Doctor or you might develop a medical ? magazine. You are wasting your time now by overthinking or not thinking and watching porn ( which by the way is devoid of feelings ) I would advise you speak to someone in your department, you won't be the first person this has happened to. Why, do you suppose this has come up just now as you are close to finishing? An interesting question. Pam.

[marigold22]

Hi pank1 . It seems to me that you are highly intelligent. May I please say for starters, that porn is absolutely nothing like real life. I'm a 66 year old lady, very very open minded and I have witnessed things that would make most people's hair stand on end ! In my mind porn makes young people think that is what really happens. It doesn't - well not in a normal relationship!

Also I would like to say that I watched a film recently about Professor Stephen Hawking. He is obviously highly intelligent, but he was awkward and geeky as a 20 year old. He had a girlfriend who he married in his early twenties. Maybe you just need to ignore the 'classmates' around you, and search out some friends who think like you do. I find I can't relate to people who chatter about total rubbish, gossip, waste their time (and mine) talking about the price of potatoes

I have recently recovered from a 30+ year endocrine illness.... Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I tell you, GPs most certainly know nothing about that illness, even Professors of Endocrinology know nothing, do not keep up to date, or even read old medical papers. A Professor of Endocrinology at a large teaching hospital (Birmingham) nearly killed me when he altered my medication. I am also on the Thyroid section of healthunlocked. Go take a look at all the new folk arriving on that forum every single day, begging for help, simply because no doctor knows this subject. The army of women on that forum (it's mainly a women's illness) who have recovered, dish out advice to desperate people, whereas consultants should be doing that. I hope you have learnt about the Endocrine System? A vital system in the body which not many know about. The major glands that make up the human endocrine system include the:

hypothalamus.

pituitary gland. thyroid. parathyroids. adrenal glands. pineal body.

reproductive glands (which include the ovaries and testes)

pancreas.

Most endocrinologists specialise in diabetes which is no good whatsoever to people with thyroid disease (an autoimmune disease).

In fact one Professor of Endocrinology (Prof Atkin) who sadly has moved abroad, proved that the war veterans with PTSD are suffering from endocrine illnesses, due to trauma and all the vaccinations they have to have before going to a hot country.

So - there you go - please please study hard and specialise in Endocrinology.