Lost and don't know where to turn

[jj2010xx]

Hi I'm new to this and hoping that this will help me. I'm 33 with 2 beautiful children and I have suffered with depression for about 2 years now, and recently it's had hit me bad. I've been signed off work, doctor has changed my medication but I'm still feeling no different. I feel so lonely and lost, I have no motivation, my head is racing constantly and I've got black cloud over me which won't go away. I keep getting self harm thoughts to take the pain away! I used to be such a happy person and full of life, but now all I feel is hopeless and a failure. I keep taking my mood out in my family and children which makes me even more upset and down. I feel like there is no way out my family and friends are supportive but they do not fully understand why and how I'm feeling This way , even I can't explain it to them.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how they have tackled this horrible disease and come out the other side?

[marigold22]

Hi, welcome to the forum. May I ask please, how old are your children? What happened to me was I got post natal depression after my son was born, it got worse and worse. In the end it was discovered that I had a physical illness - low thyroid gland called Hypothyroidism. GPs only see the depression and can only think it's mental health issues. But it can be a physical illness, as was proven in my case. I went lower and lower slowly after his birth, it was unnoticeable at first but looking back it was there, just that I was busy with my new baby then he was a toddler. Have you had depression previously, eg in your teens?