messed up life

[shiva2290]

hi everyone i am new here, i am a 27 year old indian girl who is trying to come out of my failed love life. me and my x were in a complicated relationship, we were in that relationship for quite good time of 4 years. but still he was not confirm that he can marry me or not. we shared really good times together when ever we meet, as we were in a distance relationship. i dont know abt him but i loved him from core. I mostly avoided being too physical. suddenly one day when i felt that this relationship is just going the wrong way, i asked him finally that will we be able to marry when we both are settled in our fields, there was a sudden silence on other side of the phone for 2 minutes, then he answered that we r from two different communities and his parents wont accept me as their daughter in law because of different communities. i brokeup the same day, but he didn't even tried to stop me doing this. i was not able to live without him for a very long time, and still after 4.5 years from my breakup i am not able to forget him. i am feeling that thinking of him each and every minute is making me sick, it worsen my mental health and self confidence in me. i am stuck in my life. i couldn't persue my carrier after that, even i changed the town to get rid of his thoughts, but i am not able to i tried many things. it totally took away my confidence, career, my love of course. i am very scared of letting people come in my life after this. And today i got the news that he is getting married with the girlfriend after me. i was shocked to hear that and that too girl from my community only . i guess i seriously need a doctor to treat my mental condition i am going through. all my self confidence is gone. i am even afraid to give interviews for the job because of all this. i have lost interest in doing anything. my parents wants me to work and get married but i am still doing every thing the opposite way. i have quit my job, opposing parents in silly things, dont want to work anymore, feeling in total depression.

tell me if i really need to visit doctor soon.?

why do i have lost all my self confidence.?

[puddlediver]

Oh dear, I feel for you. Being young is no joke and being in love can be difficult. When Mr right comes along you will know. Thinking of you. Lyv

[shiva2290 in reply to puddlediver]

thanks dear , that is the only thing i am waiting for rite now. mr right where are you. its time to change wrong things. the only thing which is hurting me rite now is him saying not same communities and then marrying the same other community girl. That is showing me that he was never serious about me, he was just time passing as most people do these days.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Shiva2290, Welcome to this community. Hopefully you will find folks here are very understanding and supportive. This is world-wide community and it would be great if there is anyone here from India who could reach out to Shiva. Take a look at the link below to our Crisis support helplines in India, which may give you a starting place to try to find some professional help.

shawmindfoundation.org/supp...

I agree with you that maybe it is time to speak to your doctor, and get referred to local mental health services, to access psychological therapies etc., that could help you deal with your negative thought -behaviour patterns. It isn't helping you to move on in your life, while you are stuck hankering after a relationship that cannot be. I don't pretend to understand the cultural challenges that you face in India, that we are not exposed to in the West. But you are a valuable human being, who is worth more than you give yourself credit for, and you are worth the investment in getting help.

Do take care and keep in touch.

Best wishes.

[dougal2]

I really feel for you, I believe in fate, as much as it hurts he wasn't the one for you.

I'm sure your meet someone with same religion who will be right for you.

And will treat you as a princess