just li'l worried about my life....

i am so much worried about my future life..first of all i want just a secure job and want to settle then...here's a big issue with which i am coping...i don't want to marry..i think i am unable to fulfill all the responsibilities in a married life...i think i am not an adjusting person,i get irritated easily.i just want to live alone and join some sort of old age home or any orphanage...but this can't happen i know because nobody wants a girl to live alone and nowadays there is so much insecurity for girls here..they can't go alone anywhere...i can't discuss this topic with anyone because i don't have that sort of friend or family member...i wish i could have a counselor,who could guide me and suggest me what to do...

[Hidden]

Hello Bob here

We have a problem here we do not know what the situation is in India.

In the UK we do not need to get married, also a women here can live alone in a flat, house or when in their fifties in sheltered housing, etc

Also I do not know what the situation is in India what the situation is for Mental Health.

Are you working in India or are you a British National who will be coming home, have you paid into your NI Stamp in the UK

All is very subjective

How can I help

All the best

BOB

[Gambit62]

Sorry that you are feeling down and anxious about your future - that is all quite natural.

You are still very young and although it may feel that time is running out it isn't.

Don't rule out marriage because you may find someone who is right - and marriage isn't about giving way to the other person all the time - a good marriage is a partnership and that means people working together and sometimes there is compromise, but it isn't all made by one party.

Is there a community that you could join - not sure what faith you come from - possibly you don't come from a faith at all - but that might give you the security you need rather than having to live alone. Just a thought and it's okay to hate it

[Hidden]

Hi, It sounds as if you don't want to live alone because that is scary and perhaps dangerous, but that you do not feel emotionally prepared for marriage. I wonder is there a way you can find to belong somewhere without having to adjust fully to life exclusively and intimately with another person, for example you might consider working in a health or care of residential setting where you work alongside others but keep your independence in terms of living arrangements, or you could consider becoming a student first so that you study alongside others but live separately. Alternately if you think you would like to learn how to relate comfortably and adjust to living with another person you could think of joining some kind of personal growth group or therapy group although you would need to be careful to ensure the leader was suitably qualified. Another possibility is that you may find someone who is also not comfortable with too much intimacy and who wants to live alongside you and share life without constantly adjusting to one another, many married couples live alongside one another without an intense relationship, or have intimacy emotionally and physically but choose to tolerate differences around the home. Do try to talk with someone you trust - and if you are unable to trust anyone then do seek some professional help to learn how to do that.

Suexx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

yes i am not prepared for marriage because of my past relations...one with my sister and other with someone whom i regarded as my sister..both left me..this makes me feel down..nobody knows how much i love her...perhaps she is now taking me for granted..i do not know..i always wanted to tell her how much i love her and respect that other person...problem comes here that i believe in relations..i am not practical which is the most realistic thing in life and that is we can't live alone with love...we need other things too...i believe in making life long relations but nobody else does,so i find myself alone..i am not scared of anyone but the thing is nobody who could understand my situation...i do not have any counselor or therapist though i need one...i am an introvert person now...now i am getting habitual of living alone...so i find it difficult to live with someone..

[Stilltrying_]

Thank you for reaching out from rural India. I hope that this site can help you and that you feel free to express all that you wish to express here without being judged in any way x