God bless us all

[DMM218]

I wrote recently about reaching rock bottom. Maybe I did or maybe not. But I'm still here and I am alive. I thank God for that and ask that we are all blessed today.

That's my expression of gratitude - it's not meant to be overtly spiritual so apologies if I have offended.

The last couple of days have been truly awful for me. But I have learnt so much.

I have learnt that I am deeply valued as a person by other site users and that has really touched me.

It's a huge gift of kindness and compassion that you have shown me. I've only been on the site a short while and I have tried just to be me. To hear such tender comments makes me see that I am valued and respected, by people who hold no relationship to me and have assessed me by my words.

My life has been full of toxic people. I can see that most of my issues stem from other people being cruel, selfish, weak etc.

I really think my pain has finally burnt out all of my blindness. I love people. I think humans are spectacular. I have always been compassionate, kind and understanding. I have put other people before myself since as long as I can remember. I've accepted all manner of criticism and spent most of my life trying to be the person others want.

No more.

I'm loving myself. I am vulnerable but not weak. I have strength and tenderness. I use my skills to my best ability for others and for myself. I have fear but I have more love. I will continue loving this world, this life and this amazing species called mankind.

I am no longer lost. I am exactly where I should be when I should be.

I'll stop now as I'm sounding manic!

I am so grateful that my heart has been so broken as I am now finally aware of the power of my heart. So, Life bring it on because I've been bitchwhipped so much I've finally seen my worth and the reason I'm alive.

For any concerned party I'm seeing CPN on Friday.

Love to all

[jsph554]

I'm very glad you've found a reason to keep going. Hopefully your mood will improve too, with time.

[DMM218 Ambassador in reply to jsph554]

Jo I think my mood has been smashed. Something popped in my head - like literally - so I'm either having a psychotic episode or I've just experienced so much emotional pain it's reset my gauge. I'm going to paint today and tomorrow I'm sorting my life out.

[jsph554 in reply to DMM218]

It's possibly the stress. I think that painting is a good idea, you should try and do things you enjoy, perhaps that'll help. And sorting out your life, however it's done, I think should definitely be done, it'll help in the long run.

[Hidden]

Welcome back DMM218 !!! You are all those things you describe and SO MUCH MORE !!! BELIEVE !

Love and blessings, Lottie xx

[20Voices]

It is really good to find that realization that you matter and that you know what your do that you like and that you are not prepared to change that for anyone.

I got told I will always be used because I am so caring. I know that my caring side is what makes me and I decided I was not prepared to change that for anyone. What I have learned from my anxiety and depression will help others because what I have learned I always ensure that when needed it is passed on to others. It is amazing how much a kind word or act or just taking time to listen to someone can make to them.

Keep on with what you are doing DMM218, do what makes you happy be yourself and enjoy life. Just remember to take care of you everyday (I sometimes forget that because I get such a buzz from helping others. )

So glad you are turning a bad experience into a positive. Keep doing that and give yourself a great treat for such a great success.

XX

[Lallocar1961]

We're not all offended by people being spiritual or religious. I noticed you wrote "overtly spiritual", so it sounds like you're being frank. I honestly think that some of society's ills are due to a lack of recognition that we are spiritual beings not just bio-chemical amalgams.

I am praying for you (no apology for that!)

[DMM218 Ambassador]

Well I woke up feeling good. I am actually happy. I've got a house to clean today (and for about a week tbh - it's been really bad to do housework) so I'm making a start. I will let you guys know how I'm doing as I'm still keeping eye on mood etc.