Am I losing it?: Feeling a bit scared... - Mental Health Sup...

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Am I losing it?

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Dstar

Feeling a bit scared and worried. Husband and I seem to argue a lot and he thinks I make things up. That things like him making a face at me or saying stuff isn't real but made up in my head. For me it's real and it hurts and upsets me. I have family history of psychosis so I'm struggling to understand if it's me and I'm unwell or it's real.

12 Replies
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Is your husband a doctor? If so then a second opinion might be an idea as he is too close to you and too involved in your life to be impartial. However I suspect he is not. Call his bluff. Why not go and see your GP and discuss your situation just to put your mind at rest? At least then you will know and be able to do something about it.

No he's not a doctor. I think your right and I should go to the doctor but I'm starting to question and worry about what is real and what isn't if that makes sense. My only reassurance at the moment is that none else that I am close to has said that about me but then why would he want to manipulate me into thinking that there is something wrong with me?

DMM218
DMM218Ambassador in reply to Dstar

Is not why? Just is he? Don't try to work out his intentions just work out if you are going to accept his behaviour or not. You may have to talk to him about this. Does he act in a kind and caring way towards you?

Dstar
Dstar in reply to DMM218

He does occasionally but we have a little one and life is mostly busy with her so we don't really have time together. I've had some minor surgery recently so I've been in bed with it all of last week. Not sure how to approach him about it. I tried to yesterday and he said he's not doing anything to me. That he's not physically abusing me so he doesn't understand why I'm upset.

DMM218
DMM218Ambassador in reply to Dstar

Ok, pattern of psychological abuse.

Having a normal conversation about life, work , the kids and he gets angry at something you say. You don't understand why he is angry and ask him. He'll say something like you are always saying I'm not doing such and such. You may say when did I say that etc- again you can't recall this - and he'll gave you an example - you said last week etc - again you can't remember and then he'll tell u that ur mad cos you can remember or if u recall a different conversation your lying. Making things up. Now during this he may say things that he knows you'll get angry about. Sometimes he knows how to get you really mad really quickly. He will then leave after telling you that you're unstable or that.

Usually, you'll be the one shouting the most. That's because he is in control so any anger etc is expressed exactly at the level he wants. The more angry you get, the more likely you won't remember the conversation exactly so he can use the terms of the argument to highlight ur madness etc.

He won't explain himself beyond telling you ur mad or lying. He will use negative terms all the time to describe you. Your stupid, your angry, your deluded etc etc he will even do this subtlety when not arguing. Your opinion about anything will be wrong in some way. Doing this will eat away at your self esteem.

If you are making up excuses to visit friends and family it's likely he has said something like they don't like him and it's because you've said something to them about him. U no longer go out without him unless it's housework child relayed because he worries when you go out. Why do you need to go out all the time he'll say are you not happy with me? Etc etc

That's the kind of stuff I know about. If he is doing this sort of thing in front of the kids it will affect them too. F he does it in front of other people he is setting you up as a bad person so that you become more isolated.

Psychosis builds up - talk to your GP - they can check you out but also give you help about domestic abuse.

DMM218
DMM218Ambassador

Don't doubt yourself. It may be husband is being psychologically abusive to you. Your brief post reminds me of the pattern of this. Try and talk to someone to go through this to get a independent opinion.

Look after yourself and keep posting.

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Dstar in reply to DMM218

Thank you. It's good to be able to share my worries.

What do you mean by pattern?

Hidden
Hidden

Dstar

Talk to your GP and put your mind at rest, just because your family has suffered psychosis does not mean you have the same.

Are you having problems with your husband, I always question when people say I imagine something or things ??? Do you feel something is not right with the relationship

BOB

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Dstar in reply to Hidden

I agree things aren't right but I'm not sure if that's because of me and how I am. I can't help but feel paranoid.

Hidden
Hidden

Dstar

Most of the population is in some way Paranoid, that is part of life. You need to try and look at things in an objective way. Then you will move on. I remember when at work the saying there was :

You do not need to be mad to work here, although if you are it will help !!!.

Welcome to normality ??

What I have said above still stands, confirm you are ok and the stress is caused by activities of others.

Have words with your GP

Here to help

BOB

I know how you feel. I'm in a similar situation. They often accuse you of doing saying things and then you question your judgement and everything you say back to them. It saps your energy because you are trying to please them while trying to live your life. Do get help with this, I went to a women's centre for people who are abused physically and mentally. I have had counselling for it, I then saw a police liaison officer for a chat and they were most helpful. Unfortunately it still carries on but do something about it if you can. Mental abuse is terrible and can't be seen so it needs nipping in the bud. Take care

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Dstar in reply to Angelmarrow141

Hi thank you for sharing your experience. I spoke to my husband and he said he needs help and that he's going to take it but I'm worried things will carry on. We've been together forever and things haven't always been like this. Are you still together with your partner and are things better?

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