Up until 2015 I had never been depressed in my life and 2015 seemed like one of the best years of my life. I had just got married, we were "trying for kids", I was close to finishiing a part time phd, was having articles published, I loved to meet the "lads" for a pint on a Friday might, and I was (as far as I know) in pretty much perfect physical health. Had some OCD around germs and it seems posisble that it was that which in substantial mesasure destroyed almost evrything that was important in my life in the next two years. That and unbelievable bad luck, incompetent doctors, and my own mounumental stupidity. .
I am now divorced, have had to give up on the phd, have lost the flat I had before getting married, and am sitting alone in a kitchen 100s of miles from the "lads". And in the last two years I have acquired somewhat mysetriousy two autoimmune disorders and been diagnosed with 12 other conditions, including loud multi-tone tinnitus, blurred double vision, osteoporosis, arthritus in most of my joints, and have brain fog whoch makes it hard to write a shopping list. Each week things keep getting worse. For instance, Im now finding it hard to wak and my eyesight seems to be giving up. Im also depressed as heck and have got to the point where Im struggling to find any hope.
While the two autoimmune conditions diagnosed so far explain some of the symptoms, they dont explain all of them, such as my legs turning purple and swollen fingers; and so Im being investigated for additional even more scary autoimmune conditions, which is what brought me to Health Unlocked. And people on sites like APS and other autoimmune ones have been great.
Im not really sure how to get through this any more. i have tried to be positive and find a new purpose in life, as continuing as research with sever brain fog and blurred vision seems a bit imposible atm. But tbh trying to be positive is not really working. Ive had two years of my life and health collapsing and i feel completely exhausted.
Im sorry that this was a long ramble and vent. I just wanted to get it down on paper I guess. I know that people on this forum have been through very tough times too and wondered if anybody could offers some advice on waht to do when you seem to have lost all hope.
Thanks a lot.