Depression taking over my life

[lisamt87]

I was diagnosed with anxiety and low mood (which later turned into depression) about 2 years ago after the death of a relative. I was on anti-depressants for some time but I vastly improved and the doctor recommend I try without them, as I coped really well with the deaths of two of my grandparents. I've been off them for a few months now. But I recently changed jobs, and the job is horrendous. I've slipped back into feeling depressed again, at weekends I can't make myself get out of bed and i'm constantly tired. The only thing that's making me get out of bed during the week is the fact that I am not in any position to not work, and I don't want to put pressure on my partner. I feel like I want to run out of the building at work every moment I am here, I have multiple panic attacks a day. I haven't been back to my Dr because I know they will sign me off work, and I can't afford not to work plus any time away will make it impossible for me to go back. I've only been here a few months.

Has anyone else been in a similar position and can offer some advise. I'm getting worse by the day and I don't really know what to do.

[Jessie23]

My uncle had a similar situation but he had been in his job for many years death of his brother set off depression and anxiety. He had the option to take time off work but like you said after him taking time off he didn't want to go back. He has since changed jobs works from home and is much better now no longer on meds. Is there not an option for you to look for a new job your health is more important and I'm sure your partner will think the same. I pushed myself to th point of where all my emotions switched off (diff situation at work) and trust me it's hard trying to get back I'm still dealing today and that was over a year ago. Have you also thought about counceling.

[lisamt87 in reply to Jessie23]

Thank you for responding I've had counselling previously a few times, at the moment it's difficult for me to attend it because of my current job and the workload, they are really funny about me taking time off. I've only been here 2 months and I feel like I need to try and suck it up and get on with things but I really can't anymore. Financially I can't afford not to work at the moment, and the Dr does want to sign me off but that would mean a decrease in pay.

At the moment i'm a bit lost. My partner wants what's best for my mental health, and said if I need some time out he'll support me but he can't support us both and i'd never ask him to. I am looking for work nearer to home and fewer hours to allow me to deal with my problems but it's difficult as a lot places are mistrustful because I've recently moved jobs.

It's a bit of a pickle :/

[Hidden in reply to lisamt87]

Hi as you refuse to take Antidepressent s you might like to try the herbal way. St Johns Wort is a very good herbal remedy for depression. Failing that you need to see your doctor. Sam.

[Jessie23 in reply to lisamt87]

I'm sure you wouldn't have to ask him to support you till you got back on your feet. Like you said he thinks your mental health is more important and tbh so should you you need to put you 1st. I also suffer with depression and have done for nearly 4 years😔 my life is like a yoyo (but more downs than ups) in order to pull myself up and put me 1st I ended my 10 yr marriage a yr ago. It worked for a while till things got complicated with kids etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is we need to cut out th poison in our life yes it will be though at 1st but worth it in the long run. you can't keep plodding along it will only get worse. I hope you manage to get yourself sorted ❤

[lisamt87 in reply to Jessie23]

You're right, I went to the Dr today, was signed off and prescribed some new tablets. Work haven't been great when I told them, but my partner and parents are both willing to help with finances if things get too bad. You're right, we just have to keep plodding along and dealing with one thing at a time. Whether work keep me or not will become apparent in the next few weeks when I go back.