compulsion to pick

[missycooper]

i dont seem to be able to stop picking my nose

i have in the past recognized issues with over thinking and obsessions

i recently had a depressive episode and now on 100mg sertraline which i have been

on for 2 months.

I find it hard to stop the compulsion. the inside of my nose

is raw red and really hurts, my face has become numb. Last night i had to go to bed due to the pain i had inflicted. This is not normally me.

it seems as soon as my mind drifts i find my finger in my nose. It i stop

i automatically move to picking scabs/spots skin on my back at right shoulder.

All this only involves my left arm but affects my right nose, right shoulder.

if i manage to stop it i now find myself picking at spots on my shoulder which are also red raw.

Is it possible i'm doing it for pain and the pain is distracting me from something.

At times its like im not in control.

Although the sertraline has helped i'm finding the side affects which may include this to be grouling.

today i knew what pain i created yesterday, why do i still do it today.

in combat to this if i try mindfulness and awareness then i don't do it, but its hard.

when watching tv is the time i do it. i rarely do it in front of people.

this is a recent thing and has only just started.

i will try to hold my hands together when watching tv see how it goes.

i do have to go to work on Tuesday and im slightly concerned.

During my depressive episode i thought one or two people were plotting against me.

The sertraline has helped to remove the negative thought patterns.

[chloe40]

Hello there missycooper

Suggest you return to your doctor. You may wish to discuss CBT or talking therapies, I'm sure he/she will advise you, and also discuss the side effects of Sertraline.

You can download our free guide to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

shawmindfoundation.org/free...

Best wishes

Chloe

[missycooper in reply to chloe40]

thanks... i will mention it in my next face to face meeting with psychology person

I have completed a CBT for low mood, but at the moment found it hard to implement.

i have however managed to go back to work after 3 months off. 2 days in so far.

thanks

48 Male

[grace111]

when i could not stop bitting my nails i decided to wear a pair of gloves and that made me aware every time i put my finger to my mouth as its so easy to do those things, they become a habit. try wearing gloves and that will help. all the best. love grace xoxoxo

[moons_]

I compulsively pick at my skin when I'm anxious, thinking or seeking a distraction. I've just completed CBT which tackled this and self-esteem issues.

I still haven't managed to stop picking entirely, but a few things have helped me become much more aware of it.

- Keep your nails trimmed short so that you do less damage if you do pick.

- Get a little notebook you can keep with you/near the areas where you spend most time and may pick. Each time you pick, make a line or mark in the notebook. This makes you aware of the picking, which is the start you need to control it.

- If you're like me, you do it absentmindedly, and then feel awful for doing it and damaging your skin. Once you realise you're picking, tell yourself that if you stop now, that's a good thing. Often once I've started picking I think the damage is done and I might as well continue -- stopping at any point is an achievement. Repeat "good" over and over in your head as you stop.

- Try to understand the thoughts in your head when you do pick. I've realised that I can anticipate when/where I'm likely to pick, depending on my mood. e.g. If I'm in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, I'll get bored and pick. Make sure you have your phone or a newspaper to browse, or a game to play to pass the time. If you start feeling anxious about something, be aware that you might start to pick to self-sooth, and try to remind yourself that picking will only make you more stressed after you've done it.

The hardest thing is developing awareness that you are about to pick or are picking. Once you manage to start doing that, even a little, you'll realise that you're in control and can stop. It's taken me months to get to this stage, and I still pick when I get really stressed. Just don't be too hard on yourself if you struggle, and make sure to reward yourself for not picking. The trick is to identify the underlying reason why you want to pick and become aware enough to know that you won't feel better if you do, and that your time would be better and more enjoyably spent doing something else.

Good luck!

[missycooper]

blimey, that's really nice reply, thank you. I will try it

Still managed to pick it all the way home in the car (1 hr drive).....ahhhhhh

There is nothing there, just pain and the compulsion. Even when i realize, it's like im still compelled. I guess this is the closest to feeling out of control.

My life is not the smoothest at the moment but through mindfulness and relaxation

im trying. I did notice today I cant seem to stop touching my nose now and again in front of people lol - so i become aware and stop it

time to cut my nails super short and get the notebook out.

Male 48

[missycooper]

wow, did i write that above.... it happened for sure but not sure when it stopped. Im still on Sertraline and still at work.

Work has changed, i just feel a victim most the time, seems no one trusts me or so much has been removed from my duties that i feel redundant.

I have found through a CT scan i have bronchietasis affecting my upper left lung lobe.

Bascally means i get fatigued and are more susceptible to infections.

The infections cause fever, sweating, migraines, aching muscles and can only be cleared up through antibiotics.

I'm yet to get to the actual cause of this but im guessing this is what led to my depressive episode. I do get more fatigued generally now.

I was thinking soon to start tapering off sertraline 5% every 2 weeks but im fully aware

of what side effects i can get from withdrawal.

Male 48

[missycooper in reply to missycooper]

Here is an update

[missycooper]

hhmmmmm forward 12 months and here i am

this is a journey of discovery....

i'm no longer on antidepressants

i'm no longer excessively picking or scratching spots as bad

I have had some low points which i reverted to taking the pills for for a few days as if they were a mental crutch but nothing taken for a few months.

In my mind i feel i should be outgoing, creative, create conversations, be funny, interactive

but i feel and do the opposite. I think the meds allowed me to get through a very ruff patch.

But now im in a place of reflection. I avoid contact with others at work, i worry about any situation im in at work. Some people crave a challenge, i only see the pitfalls, the responsilibility, the possibilities of what could go wrong if given to me.

Even as i type this i find it hard to believe this really happens. if im pushed i will do it, if not more times then not i will not put myslef forward. i think i have really bad self esteem and i'm not sure where it originates from. im the eldest of 3 kids and i guess its always been drummed into me its my responsibility to make sure things are ok. i find myself trying everything to get out of every situation. I simply dont belive in myself.

I can only say this is a real drain on me. This is starting to affect everything i do.

As im off the meds the inner voice is returning, the voice of doubt. the glass is offically half empty. i'm not confronted by the old inner voice as yet but i see the patterms starting to form. when i'm asked to do something at work its as if i go into a survival mode, my heart rate increases and the fear is real, i start to sweat, today as an example i uttererd the words "oh no" to which my manager may of interpreted as "not interested". I was interested but was overtaken by complete fear. I only knew 10% of the sentance and already i was formulating the response. I start to think have i been trained in the areas i need to know to give a response. Once explained to me i start to relax and then i start thinking more clearly about what the request was and how best i can give an answer.

Basically overthinking things.

It seems I worry so much about what people think of my results. failure to me seems critical

I will work on this to see if i can overcome it. If not this is my expected thought pattern.

the task is so overwhelming that i want to

quit work

stay at home, no money

talk to no one but family

sleep and watch tv

see my kids

walk to shops to get food

i see above as extreme thoughts. i recognize although i was overwhelmed by the request

my answer was extreme.

As I mentioned previous my work has reduced my workload and along the way they talk to me to check all is ok. i feel once you own up to things not being ok (like taking 3 months off work with stress) things will never be the same.

Whilst on sertraline i found my interest in risk went through the roof, i took my life savings and gambled it all away. On previous posts i have talked about compulsions of behavior.

I think the reason i took high risk was i didnt think there would be future. gambling brings its own problems. perhaps this was a bad move based on an addictive behaviors.

I decided to stop all gambling, only this week, but its too late to get my money back, the damage has been done in that respect. If i look at life more simply i guess i should be happy im alive and have chances to change these destructive behaviors.

I found I was suffering from severe sleep apnea and its unknown how long i have had it. So although they identified a lung issue which was making me very ill when i got infected, i haven't been ill in over 12 months. last year i did have the flu jab which im due to have again soon.

The sleep apnea is the biggest clue to what was going on. after using equipment at home it was identified i stopped breathing many times an hour which means i wasn't getting sufficient deep sleep. i recognize now that my paranoia and work related incidents was less then i thought. my mind was creating situations that had not happened and when it came to evidence for the issues i realized i had nothing of substance. wow, what a wake up call. i got a sleep apnea module now and wear a breathing mask at night to force my throat open under a pressure of air to prevent me from stop breathing.

The unit has been a massive success, i was falling asleep driving home from work at times, unable to do my job, unable to think straight. God knows how long i had forced my brain to working in these conditions. I found this by using my iphone and recording my snoring.

with the lung infection i was looking at different ways to monitor health.

It seems the only way to escape the sleep machine is to loose weight. I'm heavier then i should be but like everything it will take energy input to get reward.

So if your suffering from extreme fatigue, falling asleep, mental fatigue i would suggest checking your sleep patterns. i dont have any tv/laptops etc in bedroom. when i go to bed my body/mind knows its to sleep. not to read for an hour or watch something else.

Not sure why but i black out light in my bedroom.

Where will the next 12 months go.....