My mum knows I suffer from panic attacks but she had no idea I was 'unhappy'. Where my parents are from, if you can't see something, then it doesn't exist.. I.e mental illness. This is why I just couldn't bring myself to say anything to her or my dad. I thought they'd just disregard it or try and get the vicar to talk to me. I know they think all that will help me and I appreciate the thought but it really wouldn't. They're so ignorant about all this.
I don't make a habit of cutting myself I haven't for a long time. I thought I'd grown out of needing that but the other day when I relapsed I carved a big fat 'H' into my arm. Been wearing long sleeves since. Today however, she caught me in a short sleeve when I was getting ready for bed and she sort of started yelling. I felt my breathing getting heavy so I ran to the bathroom. After a while I snuck back into my room, turned off the light and got into bed. Then I got my friend (the one I've grown to be reliant (poor guy)) to call me so she wouldn't come in and try and talk to me. Regardless, she did come in, but; I was so shocked about what happened next. Instead of continuing to yell at me she just sat on my chair and her eyes started tearing up. She said me doing this was really hurting her, and that she was always there if I needed to talk. She also said she wants me to feel like I can tell her anything, which is so strange for me. In the kind of household I'm brought up in, we don't even say I love you to each other. I don't think my parents have ever said that to me. It's just not normal for us. So to have her sit there and actually cry and worry about me really opened up my eyes. I don't think I'm ready to talk to her about anything, yet, it's reassuring to know I can.
Im struggling with my life, someone please help me
Sertraline / Scar Trauma 
My sad, pathetic story
My sister is scaring me too. She has dad's temper. I'm just staying here, scared, trying to help but yelled at, paralyzed by anxiety
