Other help for bipolar

I'm a 43 old woman and was diagnosed with bipolar a year ago.I hurt so much as my parents have disowned me and haven't spoke to me for a year now,also I've not been offered any counselling or anyone to talk to just palmed off with medication that puts weight on me and I've had weight issues in the past!Can anyone give me any advice as my doc says there is no counselling?!

11 Replies

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  • A very warm welcome to Action on Depression, Our Forum is friendly and supportive and I'm sure you'll receive replies shortly, so hang on in there and while you are waiting, you can read the information and posts about Bi-Polar on the top right hand side of this page.

    Chloe

  • Hi Clarew28

    Sorry to hear your going through as tough time with BIpolar! I don't have Bipolar, I have however heard can be a difficult condition to live with! I have BPD which none of my family talks about me having! If someone asks me how I am I have to say I'm fine, or my Mother will interject & say. It we don't talk about that do we!!!

    I've found out from my auntie Mum's sister! My Mum is scared & wouldn't meet my previous CPN as she feels guilty than she may herself caused a lot of my conditions, mentally & physically! And she would have been accused of being the cause or trigger!

    She feels if we don't discuss it or mention it my Mental Health Condition, it might go away! She's even said I've always been the one with the problems & different & awkward, compared to my Older Brother & Sister!

    I know that's not the same as your parents not talking to you, I'm just wondering if your parents are blaming themselves for some of what you are going through? And it's often easier to run & hide rather than facing up to the problem!

    I found that seeing a CBT therapist wasn't for me! And I ended up paying to see a private therapist who supported me fully through my mental breakdown!

    That doesn't mean you have to do the same, it that you maybe see another Dr maybe in the same practice, or ask to be referred for a second opinion, with someone like a Psychiatrist who may have a different approach & a different way of dealing with patients conditions! They may also have a wider knowledge & list of support, that may help someone going through your condition!

    Good Luck with the Dr. Will be thinking of & praying that things change between you & your parents!

    Take Care, Warm Wishes & a hug are being sent to you! spykey 🤗

  • I was also diagnosed with bpd but don't tell people even close family and friends as when I told my brother who is the most understanding (usually!) he told me "Dont get killing anyone sis"!I know deep down he didnt mean harm and he has very dry sense of humour but that's the kind of comment I worry about.People put us in a group like we are nuts and dangerous and it is not the case.As you probably already are aware we can flip and change so can loads of people in this world but we are not all bad and its just so annoying sometimes.I feel that my parents do themselves have issues and they never ever would acknowledge that or admit it.I had a very happy and normal childhood my father was self employed my mother self employed both had high professional states but they never listened when I said I felt different,they listened when I had good news and up to a year ago they completely cut me off,calling me a psycho a nutcase.I ended up working as an ambulance technician but they still doubted me.Im not alone they cut my brother out their lives 4 years ago also ,he has no depressive or personality disorders he got the degree in physics but that's still not good enough for my parents.I get upset because I love them still and I was very close with my mum but I have to accept it.I am looking further into more help and changing my meds and Thankyou so much for your reply as I'm very isolated with few friends and closest person I once had my late aunt Joan my second mum who died 7 yrs back.She never judged me and was always there for me emotionally physically,she's always in my thoughts.x

  • Hi Clare

    I know It's hard for those who don't understand borderline personality disorder! Some people think that we are like Jekyll and Hyde, when they don't understand what our illness is about. I can understand your brothers reaction, however it's nothing like that both you and I know it doesn't mean that we have more than one personality!

    It is not an easy diagnosis to explain to someone else. But I'm sure you are aware, of the intensity of the condition! Even I said to my CPN when I saw this diagnosis on a piece of paper, does that mean I have more than one personality, and I don't know who I am most of the time! She laughed and said no no it's nothing like that at all! When I saw this diagnosis on a piece of paper, does that mean I have more than one personality, and I don't know who I am most of the time! She laughed and said no no it's nothing like that, but I think the general public may think that this is what it means! and they can often mis-understand what they are being told!

    I don't want to criticise your parents, but it does seem that if your brother was excluded from your family four years ago, and You a year ago, that they are very had to please, or you cannot achieve their goals of what they expect you to achieve!! And you said you believe they have issues themselves!

    Please don't ever feel alone, there is always someone here for you! Alongside your brother who I'm sure cares for you very much, you have a number of people on this site that care for you too and understand what you're going through! We will try and support you as much as we can, feel free to post at anytime we will do our best to support you in any way that we are able to, and can! You are not alone, there are many people out there that have gone through what you are going through! Having a double diagnosis is not easy, but it can be controlled, medication may be prescribed by your GP, or a psychiatrist! Of course this is up to you who you decide to see!

    Let the site and supporters know how you get on, as we will try to be there whatever results you have & how your meeting goes!

    Take Lots of Care of You! Warm Wishes & a hug are being sent to you now! 🤗🤗 spykey

  • Thankyou so much for your very kind words they have really comfort me and I'm very gratefull you and others have taken the time to try and support me.I will let you know how I get on

  • Hello, I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder Dec 2016 after four years of misdiagnosis by my local cmht. Could you go back to the psychiatrist that diagnosed you and ask for a meds review? There are a number of medications around to try, you don't have to put up with the ones that give you side effects. Have you had any contact with your local community mental health team? If you are having problems, find their number and call them, they should have a duty worker you can talk too. When you say your doc says there is no counselling, do you mean your GP? There should be counselling available, usually CBT that can be helpful. You could use the counselling to talk about the difficulties you are having with your parents. Why have they reacted in such an extreme way? Hope this helps, Fiona.

  • Hi Thankyou for your feedback most appreciated and I will take your advice.Im seeing my doctor next week who has advised in the past for me to try cbt but I didn't think this would work for people with bipolar .My partner has called a bipolar trust line and they are sending someone to see me soon.As for my parents I just can't understand as they are totally avoiding me and I guess there's nothing I can do about that

  • Hi Clarew28

    I have suffered from depression/anxiety for over 20 years, I myself am not bi-polar but my younger sister is and I've met many people with this serious illness. This I do know you need to get help you cannot go through this on your own, as already posted there is meds and support out there that will help you. I myself find it hard to find my voice when I am very unwell, I really feel for you but try to find organisations in your area who can sign post you in the right direction.

    I hope and pray you find the help and support you need.

    Wildhorses2

  • Thankyou so much for your feedback I do feel a little brighter that there is help out there it seems I do have to go out and find it as I feel my gp hasn't really helped me.Anyway my partner has called some organisation the bipolar trust and someone is coming out to talk with me next week.Thankyou and godbless you

  • Thank you I am so pleased for you Clarew28.

    Wildhorses2

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  • i really feel so sorry for you! it might be really hard to cope with life with such situations. just stay strong! and just know you're not alone and tbh talking to someone is just as much equal to counselling and if you can actually talk to someone about your problems. and well meds are really bad but if they help you then its a plus. and if its possible you can even try going out for morning walks. no stressing. and just eat healthy. and listen to good thing and watch positive videos that ease your mood and also you can try reading. it actually helps a lot! i hope you get well soon! just keep strong!!

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