BPD I messed Up

[Tigger1988]

Today I have totally messed up. I had a bad Borderline Personality episode. I was paranoid and had a right go at my boyfriend because i thought something he said was aimed at me. I have explained what happened and apologised. I think it might be over, im so annoyed that my mental illness is ruining my life and relationship. Its won again. I really do not know what to do.

[Biggles22]

Move on and put it behind you where it belongs. count to 10 and think before you open that mouth to speak

[Tigger1988 in reply to Biggles22]

Easier said then done when you dont realise until after its already happened.

[Biggles22 in reply to Biggles22]

Certainly is easier said than done.

[Hidden]

You have apologised to your boyfriend we all make mistakes. If he doesn't understand then that is not your fault. All's you can do is say sorry and explain. I even get like that now with my husband but don't have borderline personality disorder. So it's more difficult for you. I remember one point I was convinced he was having an affair but he wasn't it was totally in my head and more to do with my own self esteem than him. Don't beat yourself up about it and over analyse. Start a fresh and maybe next time if he says something just say can you explain what you mean by that please? Then listen. Believe me most of us have done this.

[Tiggerakafidgity]

Please don't let ur paranoia have a snow ball effect like I used to.christ I was at my wits end and certainly couldn't go out at all.

I spoke to my physciatrist and he gave me some antipsychotic meds really have helped a lot

[Tiggerakafidgity]

It hasn't won as ur still with ur boyfriend right ?

I know exactly how it can come from just know where.its like a bolt of lightning as ur brain and paranoia is faster than ur mouth

[Tigger1988]

I'm not longr with him. It turned out it wasn't me at all but his emotional and psychological abuse.