Hello, was referred to this website. I'm new here, not really sure what to write. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I'm a junior in college and i have a lack of motivation to do my work. It's very hard to just sit down and do what i need to do. Sometimes i am happy, but other times I am down right miserable. Mostly when i am alone. I have a boyfriend who is 8 years sober in AA. Im very codependent upon him. I used to be very content when i am alone, but now i can barely stand it. I lack confidence, and a way to cope with my stress. Some days I am crying on my floor and other days i just want to sleep in my bed. I get very jealous of those around me.. those who can do their work and be great at it. I'm very jealous of my boyfriend that has a huge group of friends/supporters that are alcoholics but, they don't really understand my depression and my pain. I am looking for people who can relate to my problems. I can't live like this, I need a community of support.


9 Replies

  • Welcome to the site. You will find a lot of info here on how to cope. The other members are very nice and friendly too .. It wont be long before you settle in here

  • Hi ggrussinger and nice to meet you. Can I just check you are at least 16 before I reply to you please? That is the minimum age you have to be to join as a member under Health Unlocked terms and conditions. x

  • Im in College. I'm over 16.

  • Welcome! There are a lot of members who talk about struggling with college issues so I'm sure you'll find some common ground. It's true that everyone is really nice. I'm glad you're here.

  • Thanks :)

  • Hi ggrussinger, I hope that you find plenty of support on here. Sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you at the moment. It sounds like your symptoms of depression and anxiety are on the increase just now. Do you have any thoughts or ideas about why that might be? Are you taking any medication to help you with this and/or doing any CBT or talking therapy? Do you have student counselling or welfare services at college?

  • Hi,

    I'm going to ask a couple of questions to make you think. You don't have to reply here; you don't even have to write your answers down.

    You say that you suffer form anxiety and depression- have you had an official diagnosis? Are you on any medication?

    Do you enjoy your subject choice? Even when I wasn't down, I sometimes found studying really hard because I wanted to be out spending time with my then boyfriend (now husband) or with my friends. I'm dyslexic, and studied literature (glutton for punishment), which meant I fell asleep a lot because it exhausted me.

    Why do you think about when you are on your own? I think most people get down when they are on their own because they have time to think about loss or pain. I know I'm definitely guilty of this, and when my depression is bad I can barely move too.

    What makes you think you are codependent? Does he encourage you? How long has your relationship been this way?

    What makes you think that the alcoholics don't know or understand how you feel?

    I hope these questions help you to try and think deeper. Thank you for being so honest.



  • Hi,

    Yeah, I am on anti-depressants as well as a 'booster' pill for it. I feel like theyre not working now. Iv been on them for 3 years with a break a year ago (I kind of stopped taking them :/) But I am back on them consistently now. I do say that there was a difference when I was off them, not a good difference either.

    I think my biggest problem is my boyfriend. Even today, he wanted to be alone tonight and I got upset with him. I don't know why, I got sad. I wanted to be with him and he didn't want to be with me. I need to learn to accept it and learn how to be alone again. Idk.

    Thanks for replying, it did make me think.

  • Hello and welcome, I hope you won't be offended if I am honest with you. I am not a Dr. so this is just the opinion of a lay person. You sound a little needy to me, lacking in self confidence . I know because I've been there. For myself I had to do things on my own, do the things I was afraid to do. Not everything all at once, but tackle one thing at a time and when you achieve some success your confidence will grow. This will take some time but taking action will make you feel better. When your boyfriend says he's going out respond by saying oh , good because I have plans too, and then go somewhere for awhile. This is to show you both that you are not clingy nor are you trying to make him feel guilty You also need to form some friendships with women if you don't have any, and don't change plans with them to accommodate your bf. Let me know if any of this sounds reasonable to you. sweetiepye