hi.... I'm 30 years old and for a while have been experiencing low moments and feeling really down.. I have 2 beautiful boys and I'm currently in a relationship with the children's father.
My relationship hasn't been the best since having my boys, and I'm not blaming them for a second! home life is hard my boys are 15 months apart so you can imagine they can be a handful at times. Me and my boyfriend both work, I work part time/3 days. We don't have much of a conversation when it comes to my boyfriend coming home from work, just the usual 'did you have a nice day' 'what do you want for dinner' Sex life isn't great either, if I don't instigate it, it doesn't happen. So as you can imagine, it makes me feel unwanted, repulsive, unattractive... We barely have sex at all..
Work life sucks at the mo, I suffer from psoriasis and the medication I am on can suppress my immune system, so I have recently been off work with bugs, tonsillitis. They are not supportive in any way and i'm now about to have my 2nd hr meeting for being absent off work.. They have also been pushing me and pressuring me into sorting out other childcare options, As at the time my mum had my boys 2 days a week and couldn't sometimes have them if they became ill. so then I had to take emergency leave at work..
I have now resolved this where my boys are at nursery 2 days a week but this still doesn't seem to be good enough for me employees! My appraisal is due at the end of this month and ive been working my arse off, doing everything my boss's ask of me and this still isn't good enough! They are always negative towards me, and never have anything positive to day! I now dread going to work....
Financially its a struggle, ive got myself in debts with credit cards trying to pay for bills and my children. my boyfriend helps when he can, but has his own bills to oay on the house and also maintenance for his son who he had from a previous relationship/.
And now to top all of this off, last Tuesday I had a car accident where someone drove into the back of me at a speed of about 30/40 mph, i'm in bits. everyday is a battle where the pain in my back and neck are getting worse by the day.. I'm trying to hold it together but i'm struggling... Work haven't been sympathetic towards this either and expected me in work the day after the accident! Then pretty uch made me on the spot tell them i'd make the time up this week, not even knowing how i'd be feeling. I feel I have to go back into work tomorrow, because if I don't that will give them yet another excuse to give me a hr meeting and try and get rid of me..
I am at breaking point, and feel completely useless... Everyday I have no energy, and having 2 young boys I need all the energy I can get. I feel worthless, sometimes feeling that they're and everyone else is better off without me..
I don't know what to do! Someone please help me...