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Mental Health Support
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Do you ever wish work would just go away?

I just want a job that starts at 9 and finishes at 5. Not one that goes on into the evening, and makes demands on my time, my family, my stress levels. I hate that emails ping at stupid oclock on a Saturday morning and I have to deal with them. My boss makes totally unrealistic demands of me and I've had a guts' full of it. I feel so anxious all the time about it.

8 Replies

Find a new job if possible?

It sounds like the best solution if your unhappy. I mean why do something for a long period of time if you don't enjoy it. Money isn't the most important thing in the world! Or you could always talk to your boss and tell him/her that the work load is getting too much etc and try and resolve it?


Tell your boss your computer is down??


You should only deal with work issues on a Monday to Friday 9 to 5 and no later unless you are going to get the time back. Stick exactly to what is stated in your contract.

The management staff are only interested in work going out the door rather than what you are currently working on or have on your desk still to do. I get asked to do a lot more than i am actually paid for and it really does my head in. Some staff ask me directly to do work because other members of staff dont do as good a job as me.

jtnzzz - finding a new job is easier said than done as there isnt that much out there. I have been looking for ages and nothing suitable has come up.


Hi Suzie, it's easy to say what to do but hard to do it and perhaps risky - but - don't answer any e-mails outside the hours on your work contract, go in, do your best to do your job well, switch off and go home, and nothing else. Ignose any comments, threats, etc and if your boss attempts to intimidate you seek advice about harrassment and legal action, similarly if you are got rid of seek legal advice for compensation. Your boss is being more than unreasonable, I consider she's being abusive. The only way to deal with an abusive realtionship is to stop the abuse. If you can find another job that will be even better, but that's not easy. Also do take all time owing, holiday time, etc, put a request in writing giving reasonable notice i.e. a few weeks and choose a reasonable time i.e. not when the firm is at its busiest,, state the times you would like to take off and ask for the bosses response in writing. If you are entirely reasonable and calm you will be in the best position if the boss does try to make things more difficult. If necessary get support emotionally, i.e. from a counsellor or even see a solicitor for legal advice so you feel confident about your position. Not easy, but I think you are strong enough to do it and it is right that you do ensure your needs are met. Suexx


Hi Suzie, well when I posted you said how much you identified with my problems so no surprise that I identify 100% with yours. If you're anything like me then having a different/less pressured job seems like a complete pipedream because of all the practical realities like having to support family etc.

As far as this particular problem is concerned....first of all e-mail is a nightmare form of communication. The impression on the reader can be very different to what was intended. For example what you may receive as unrealistic demands that your boss MUST HAVE NOW....may be just your boss trying their best themselves to get through a mountain of work and on their 'to do' list is "must ask Suzie x,y,z...will send an e-mail now" without thinking about the impact it has on you. (This might not be you but it would at least help to eliminate that possibility).

My own boss seems to start e-mailing at 10pm on a weekday, then all is quiet on the weekend till about 9pm on Sunday night when the little light on the blackberry starts flashing again. Most of the time unless I can see it's something that's genuinely urgent, I won't respond till the morning.

I suspect yours is not necessarily the sort of job where you can flat out refuse to do things outside of contracted hours (or at least you feel you can't) but there's a difference between an urgent issue and one that has simply been raised at an inconvenient time.

Perhaps one way to deal with it (and I don't necessarily practise what I preach here by the way!!) is, if you get a request you're not expecting out-of-hours, send a very brief response to acknowledge that you've received it - lie if necessary and say you're 'out and about' therefore not in position to sort it now - but that you will be dealing with it first thing in the morning/on Monday. Maybe even sometimes ask the question directly (Hi [boss], just received the request below - is this something you need right now as not necessarily the best time? - I can get back to you tomorrow am.) or just keep it simple and say "no probs will get back to you about this on Monday". By responding to the e-mail you're showing yourself to be efficient and "on top of things" but other than the 20 secs it takes to respond you're not allowing it to take up your time. When I have done this, it makes me feel a whole lot better that I have at least acknowledged a request (as opposed to my normal 'head in the sand' approach) and makes my boss feel more comfortable that I've responded and it's at least found its way onto my 'to do' list.

Perhaps at least one day of the weekend you can put your out of office on? "I'm going to have limited access to e-mails on weekend of 2nd/3rd March. Apologies if your message does not receive an immediate response but I will deal with any issues as soon as possible on my return to the office." Again, you look like the sort of efficient person that is being clear about contactability EVEN on the weekend. But you're creating that impression without actually having to do any work.

I have no idea what job you do or whether any of this advice is any good.....but if above results in a whole series of "no I really need this now, where are you?" types of situation, at least you'll be making the problem more explicit to your boss but in a non-confrontational way, i.e. he/she might see they are inconveniencing you and may make them think twice before asking. Or at least prompt a conversation where you can discuss 'how to plan better as a team' during the day to avoid these sorts of things cropping up so regularly at the last minute. (I expect you wouldn't want to start that discussion yourself, but if your boss starts turning it into an issue and you have to talk about it, perhaps that could be your line).

If you're anything like me this may be just one of many things that's stressing you out and you feel like it's the whole pressure of the job itself that's getting you down (as you said in title, you don't want it to get better, you just want it to go away....) but if any of this helps you get some of your life back then it could be a small positive.

Oh and don't forget your Euromillions ticket tomorrow night ;-)


Hey guys! Thanks for your lovely messages. They were a lovely surprise. I've spent the evening trying to work out how to add an 'out of office' message to my email! Looking forward to imagining the angry faces of the recipients! X


Thats great advice Johnnyboy. And from you too Sue.

Good luck with it Suzie.

Bev x


Hi Suzie, I used to work late into the evening and have my blackberry on outside of working hours but having spent 3 months off work due to stress and bullying I changed my attitude to work completely.

I am home based which used to make things difficult, however my phone automatically

switches on at 9 and off at 5. The only exception I make to this is if I owe any hours back, this is also the case with my laptop. I have other more important things going on in my life that need my time and I am also important and need me time to try and sort my issues out.

So my employer will only have my attention for the hours they pay me for and no more. I feel less stressed about work now which is great. This attitude has improved my productivity at work so we both win as far as I am concerned.


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