Hi again

Hi guys need sum advice if poss, try and keep this short but me and my ex have been apart for roughly 13weeks, after a 20 relationship, if and when the time comes she meets someone else that is going to hit me bad, should I ask her to tell me if poss straight away if she meets someone, because last thing I want is to find out of someone else or even if she suddenly changes her facebook profile to in a relationship, is this an OK thing to ask her or not, please advise me what I can do guys thank you

[Ohitzidris]

Well, I think you should just move on. No reason to ask her if she's dating someone else cause even if she hasn't, it doesn't seem like things are going to change between you and her. Besides, life's too short to be thinking about a girl that you're not in a relationship with anymore. Its obvious you still have feelings for this girl, so I'm going to assume that she is the one who ended the relationship. If that's the case and 13 weeks has gone past, she's most likely trying to move on with her life as well. You can always have a direct conversation with her to find out if there's any future between the both of you as a couple, but usually its just better to let her be since the answer is usually no (just shake hands and call each other friends). I guess you can do that whole "take me back" thing and "I will be a better man for you", but do you really want to have a relationship with a girl that broke up with you? So I'm strongly against asking her something she may not want to share with you. It would also just make you seem jealous by the fact she has moved on and you haven't. Don't worry mate, there are plenty of ladies to meet and maybe you'll find the 'special one' soon.

[Hidden in reply to Ohitzidris]

I actually broke up with her i, I walked out on her and kids I didn't want to be there,

[Ohitzidris in reply to Hidden]

Then in that case, you should reeeally move on. Why did you not want to be around your ex and her/your kids?

[Hidden]

I'd say the same as Ohitzidris. If indeed it was ended on her terms, in the interests of self-preservation the best thing you can do is not follow what she's up to.

[Goldfish_]

Sounds you need to work on coming to terms with things now and getting better rather than worry about what ifs in the future.

[Catrose21]

Assuming you guys are still friends or on speaking terms, I imagine she will tell you if she is dating someone if she wants to and I wouldn't bug her about it. I would just try to work on being happy yourself and maybe try and go out on some dates yourself even if nothing comes of them it might make you feel better to get back out there and might help you get over her. I totally understand the urge to know what the other person is doing, but in the end if they are happy that is all that matters and it will only push her farther away if you can't give her space when she needs it.

Good luck

[Satsuma]

I think instead of focussing on her and what she is up to, maybe you should be focussing on yourself. What is it really you want which will make you happy ? Find it, embrace it and make it yours.

[Satsuma in reply to Satsuma]

Of course I am no expert, I left my marriage 8 years ago now, he is married again and i don't give two hoots cos I know I .better off away from abuse. Each break up is different but there is a reason u walked away and so u have to keep that in mind of how much better you are away from whatever it was u got away from.

[welly10]

You walked away for a reason.and if and when she does meets someone that's up to her as you decided you did not want to be in her life anymore.like most on her just move on with your life.

[equilibrium123]

Work out why you left your partner, do you have your own issues going on which affected the relationship therefore not really your partners fault?. Relationships mixed with Children can be stressful, sometimes us men think the grass is greener else where, have you considered your children, how old are they, will you still be able to see them. I obviously do not know the full circumstances for you but I do know I have had four children to three relationships that have failed and although each time I had a valid excuse but a lot of the problems seemed to be down to distorted perceptions. I do support and see my siblings and relationships are good but I do not see them as often as I like, it has been real hard to accept not being with them 24/7. Sounds like you either still love your partner so in that case you need to look deeper at why you left her but if you do not want the relationship move on and let her move on too. Good luck.

[Anna2008]

I agree with the above posts about moving on, but at the same time you do need to be aware of another adult in a parental role to your children and ensure they have their best interests at heart and advise your ex to have a background check on them for their safety and protection...