Little help needed...

[Merana]

Hi I'm new here. I'm not suffering with depression but affected by it through my husband... 2 years ago all it started so he said and 4 months ago everything came out... I know it has been really hard for him and always I have been by his side ... He hasn't been home for 4 months we still talking on phone... He still says he loves me and nothing is my fault... The thing is I have suggested to him to seek medical help in the most appropriate way but all I get is silence on this matter... I think he is very much connected to his faith to help him... I have asked him to come see me but nothing... I don't what to do I know I can't fix him... But I already told him praying is not enough and a visit to doctor could possibly help him even more... My question is does he knows how much I care and love him? He does thanks me for everything and that he appreciate all... I Get so confused... Thank you in advance. Merana

[Hidden]

Merana

Welcome to this site,

Sometimes when a Partner is suffering from depression they can hold onto the reasons why they feel the way they do. If this is the case and depending on the situation you find yourself in you need to take the bull by the horns and ask yourself what these reasons are He will not discuss His fears with you.

You have your own needs and these need to be addressed, there may be other reasons why He is not being honest and understanding to your situation. You need to show your fears and if the relationship has now come to an end you need to know and be allowed to move on

BOB

[Merana in reply to Hidden]

Hi Bob, thank you for your message.

[Hidden]

Hi why won't he seek medical help? Does he see that as weak and being less of a man or something? I think you have to make it clear that you can't carry on like this and he must start to help himself before you can get back together.

Whether he chooses to go the medical route or the self help or both then he has to do something. Not getting help is not an option for your marriage is it?

[Merana in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your message. It could be he finds it hard to talk about it... I suppose it can't carry on like this... Thank you

[sweetiepye]

Most religions put a high value on marriage and meeting your responsibilities . Being ill doesn't let one out of that. While prayer is very beneficial there still needs to be a show of faith, a working with and following God. Otherwise you are or in this case your husband is just asking to have his own way. If you get no cooperation from your partner you might try seeing someone on your own. It could be quite helpful in learning how to deal with your husband and in making any decisions that might come up. Your husband can talk all he wants, it means nothing, it's his action that counts. Keep your chin up. Pam

[welly10]

Hi Merana I left my partner for 8 months when I got diagnosed with depression as I thought it would be too much for her as we have young children. it all depends on what's causing his depression he needs to talk to a doctor I got help ie anti deps and talk therapy.every day I felt guilty for leaving my family I still went to see them which helped me but also when they left the guilt was terrible.he needs to talk to someone about what he thinks is causing it.everyone is different I felt devoid of any emotion other than guilt and it wasn't even my fault.good luck and stay strong there is a light and after he is better he will be stronger.

[Merana in reply to welly10]

Thank you for your message. Very kind.

[YoungSem]

I fear your partner may be suffering from a very serious form of depression and honestly, being a victim of depression myself what makes me feel better is when someone talks to me. Naturally a person who suffers from somethig like your husband will always push everyone away and the best thing to do is know the person, know the person and then use this to your advantage to reach the persons soft spot and help them acknowledge that medical help is needed.

I know this wasn't much help but this is just based on MY personal experiences. Whatever you do, do not lose your connection with him.

,Semir

[Merana]

Hi semir, thank you for your message. Today we had a chat and I said we need to talk. I know some of the kind people that message me talked about the reasons... He has expressed reasons and I understand them... Is just so hard the silence and or very little to say... I also know is very hard to talk for someone suffering with depression... But today I said we need to talk I need to understand a bit more what he is going through... Silence then he said yes we do. I will let you know... Also he has expressed some of what he feels every day... Morning when he wakes up... I feel guilty now ... I was kind but firm... I just haven't really seen him for so long... I can see when you say sometimes is easier for people be addressed by a message or a call than do that themselves... He is a lovely man and kind.. Merana