Up and down

[paultryinabegood]

Hey I struggle wiv my ups an downs, but my ups get me in so much trouble anyone the same, downs I get sympathy???

[LoriMS61]

Hi,

Welcome to the community. Just want to double check how old you are?

Lori

[paultryinabegood in reply to LoriMS61]

Hi I'm 43 old male thanx

[CJ2016]

I think when on an "Up" you need to find something that keeps you busy or makes you productive to make all that "Up" energy aimed at one thing.

When i feel "Up" i work out,eat well(problem with this is my weight goes up and down depending on my moods), feel like i could run a marathon,

make idea's to go on holiday's here and there,have a "positivity" level off 1000%,will become way more sociable,when i am in work i am just non stop(my co-workers think i am crazy and need to take a drug test because i just keep going and going and going and going without having a break,until the work get's done)

The down's are obviously the opposite,i lock my self away,death plagues my mind,i cut my self more,think about suicide(been this way since 14(28) now) have more anger,get annoyed really easily,been a couple of times where i have just had a day or two of feeling like i am num and just down right become jekyll and hyde.

I have never been to the Dr's about all of this,that's my choice,but anyone else who is like this,i would advise go seek help(it's not healthy) it may be hypocritcal of me saying to get help when i don't,but two wrong's don't make a right as the saying goes.

So if you think your having problem's in regards to behavaior from being up or down,go talk to someone who should be able to give you proper medical advice and see where it goes from there.(if you have not already done so)

[paultryinabegood in reply to CJ2016]

Hi cj yea I hear you, I've had these problems since childhood too, I dont want medication as it affects me too much, just seems too cause me other problems, and as I've suffered many addictions, which I seem to have beaten, I don't like taking pills, but talking about stuff seems to help u no? Cheers my friend hope ur ok today.... Paul

[CJ2016 in reply to paultryinabegood]

Hey paul,im not to bad today man just takeing it as it comes,and the taking pills stuff,yeah i don't blame you,although sometimes depending on the severity of the problem,they may sometimes help.

But seeing has you have suffered from many addictions,then fair enough if you wish to avoid medication,it's just a matter of finding something that works for you.

It does tend to help talking about it,i would never mention my mental state to my family or to the majority of people i know around me(thats through choice,and them having their own "medical" issues),but finding an outlet to get what you need off your chest is good sometimes,even if its in a place such as this.

I am use to keeping everything to my self when i am not on here,i hide behind a mask if you will,people either see me as miserable,agitated,or motivated and determined and always on the go basicaly,depend's on the day i am having,or if i am Up or Down.

If you find talking on her help's you then go for it,if you find it keeps you out of trouble again go for it,its about finding what works for you,if you are much more worried, then i would say go see a dr,but tell the dr you do not wish to take medication.

Then perhaps you could both come to a soulution that will work for you,be it talking to someone about what your feeling,etc etc,i am sure there are many thing's that could work for you.

For me i found the gym works for me when i am on an Up all that motivation determination,that non stop energy that you feel,is used up lifting weights,going on the running machine,doing sit ups,push ups,chin ups etc.

Those down day's well they are a different story,but i would personally say find something to keep your mind occupied a hobbie for those Up days to burn all that buzz so to speak.

And i am sure there are a ton of people on here that can give you even more advice then what i can give but, yeah i am sure the longer you stick around here you will find some hints tips and thing's that may help you in what your feeling,plus there are plenty of folks to talk to.

[paultryinabegood in reply to CJ2016]

Thnx cj does it mania go on for weeks on end or just days, as I feel high as a kite for weeks then can have 2 or 3 days of depression up too a week? I used to heavily self harm.. Cut... Burn, attempted suicide several times and don't even mention drugs..... Prescription... Illegal, any substance I could get my hands on to get this monster out of my head. I've given all that up, as a bad job, been over a year since I cut, dont go near medication, fir obvious reasons n suicidal thghts have drifted away....just this mania up n down I'm left with, hope ur all good cj...an thanx for chattin

[CJ2016]

Hey paul,from what i read Manic Episodes can last from anywhere from a few days,few weeks,to months,

(there are diff types of bipolar from what i understand and read some people can have rapid changes in their moods in that one moment they can be Manic then the next Depressive).

Im not Bipolar(i have never gone to the Drs because i just down right hate anything to do with that type of stuff) but the way it is with me,yeah sometimes i can be on a high(Up) for a few days sometimes a few weeks,and the longest was 10/11 months.

Then it comes crashing down,then back up,then down then back up,then down then back up,to be honest i don't even know what the word "normal" is anymore,the downers tend to again last from days,weeks to months.

I have been this way for so long that it actually feels "normal" to be up and down all the time sometimes the downers become a real major bummer though

Even though you know your on a downer,your depressed,there is just no shaking it off,then the next moment(be it a few days,weeks,months) this feeling just comes over you and it just goes back to being on that high again,or feel like you was never on a downer,although people around you tell you that you have been a miserable git,and you know that you have been on such a downer,but yeah its just diffcult to explain really lol.

I am glad you have gone so long with out self harming,and stopped the drugs etc,your doing well in that regards mate,personally mate,i would tell you to go to the Drs,i know i have not gone or nothing but i am probably one of the most stubborn people you will ever come across,ever lol.

But i would say if your having a lot of trouble with the "Manic" episodes then i would see what the Dr can suggest,be it talking to a physiatrist just to get stuff off of your chest.

Heck if you don't want to talk to someone like that,you could find other means such as writing down your demon's on paper,and then once your done burn it.

At least the words flying through your head are off your chest in that way,or again come on here and talk there are plenty of people that will listen/read what you have to say.

I cant stress enough though when feeling high,excited,just feeling like a 1000 mph,you need to find something positive you can put all that energy into.