Why is it so hard

[Leo142]

I'm fighting every day to stay on top of my emotions but they keep getting stronger and stronger trying to hurt me it's so hard being in a relationship with someone while your depressed ect ect as soon as I'm left alone for a couple minutes my mind attacks me and i try to suppress how I feel about everything so I don't upset my BF but it's not working there's cracks in my box of emotion now like tonight my BF went to a party be messaged me saying how much he hated it and he didn't know anyone he was gonna get a bus home at half past he stops talking to me At 45 mins past and I assume he's on his way home or something. I tried to encourage him to have a good time and I was worrying about him the entire time I thought he would be at home turns out according to the pictures I saw of him smiling he was having a great time with his old friends one may I mention was his first BF but you know it all gets pushes into the box and locked but yet I'm here crying like I'm up most of the night worrying if he's fine and it's like he doesn't even think about me i just feel like I love him more the. He loves me And it's slowly hurting me fush my life I have no plans for the future regarding education as I didn't even do my GCSEs I feel like I have completely just screwed everything up

[Goldfish_]

You are young and have your whole life ahead of you and if you want to be in control of your future, you must make some plans, work on them to get the best life you can and the best future.

I don't know you but it sounds like you should be doing psychological therapy, assertiveness and self harm treatments. Then some plans for education or career training. It would be great to hear about your ambitions and achievements, but it wil require work on your part

[Leo142 in reply to Goldfish_]

i dont self harm and i want to be a chef or fireman police man i cant really think of my future though as like 80% of the time i dont think i have one

[Goldfish_ in reply to Leo142]

Theres a lot of work to do to get on any of the courses for training for these. Why not check out the requirements and ensure you can fulfill them.

If you want a future you have to think about it and keep it in mind every day and you can make it happen. Read the book The Secret, which goes along these lines.

If your thinking is that you wont have a future then I'm sure you will achieve that!

What you ask of yourself will determine the extent of your achievements