I can only see an end?

[Farry5]

Hi all I'm struggling to find a way out of this black hole, I can't find a solution just an end. I've been fighting for so many years with clinical depression and never really found any help or someone to talk to that doesn't laugh or judge. I just don't want to be here anymore.

[Goldfish_]

Can you tell us a bit more about your situation so that we can hopefully offer some help?

So are you under the care of a doctor or cmht ?

How old are you?

Are you taking meds?

Do you have a job?

Do you have accommodation?

Do you have any hopes or ambition for your future?

Why do think you are depressed?

Can you tell us a bit about your 'black hole"?

Dave

[sweetiepye]

The end is no solution., and the people who laugh or judge have no understanding. You need to take action to help yourself, doing this will make you feel more in control. If you haven't seen a Doctor recently that would be a good place to start. There have been improvements in medicine that may be to your advantage .Some type of therapy would provide people to talk to. I'm not telling you it will be easy, but it can be done and you can get your life back. Possibly not your old life but a better life than you're living now. Pam

[Farry5]

Judging ? Seems to come to mind again

[Hidden in reply to Farry5]

No, nobody has the right to judge you and anyone who laughs obviously are very stupid. I wonder if you have seen your doctor that is the best way to go. I felt like this once and got over it.Do not give up your too precious.

[Goldfish_ in reply to Farry5]

Please don't take offence as everyone here is trying to help, but that is difficult if you don't tell us a few objective facts about your situation.

I listed some questions last night. Are you able to answer them?

I hope you don't see me as judging you, but there is no doubt that writing persistently negative comments will make you feel worse. Please ask yourself if you want to feel better or are you looking for ways to feel worse? Sometimes we dig our own black holes!

If you are interested in feeling better, then it may be worth looking at the principles of DBT (click on link below) and possibly asking for referral.

behavioraltech.org/resource...

[Gambit62]

I'm not sure if this is anything like where you are at the moment - just sharing.

I suffered for years with anxiety and depression and I know it just felt as if I was waiting to die because living was so awful and not living would mean not being aware but I didn't feel that I could actually put anyone through finding the body if I did anything to end it so I carried on hoping each night when I went to sleep that I wouldn't wake up the next morning.

I had friends and at times I would enjoy things but it was never enough to tip the balance into feeling that I wanted to be alive - it was always existence. At times there would be periods when I was haunted by thoughts of death that were just continuous and a feeling of anxiety that really wasn't sparked by anything.

I found that poetry helped me to externalise the thoughts a bit - not huge amounts of rhyming verse but just short lines of thought because trying to string anything more together when I was feeling the blackness just didn't work but there were times when people really didn't understand what the poem was about and would be trying to 'help' me and that really didn't help at all. I wanted someone to understand but also didn't want people to understand because I knew that the only way to understand was to be in the same deep dark pit that I was in and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I did find out a few years ago that what I was experiencing was caused by a problem absorbing one particular vitamin but that was all by accident so I now live in a very different place but I can still remember a lot of fhe dark place and have my poems as a record ... and other writings. It is difficult for people who aren't in the darkness because they want to help but I can remember that sometimes what I really wanted was just an acknowledgement from outside myself that the place I was in existed.

[jane51 in reply to Gambit62]

Reading this shocked me because it could be describing me as i have been for so long,i really wish i knew what worked for you because i can see no hope for myself at all and it just seem's to be getting worse.

[Gambit62 in reply to jane51]

I'm really sorry to hear that you are in that dark place.

You may find this post helpful

healthunlocked.com/couchtob...

its about what helped me to deal with the intrusive thoughts which allowed me to cope.

My vitamin absorption problem was B12. You can find a list of symptoms here in case other things ring bells

pernicious-anaemia-society....

if they do then I suggest that you join the PAS forum

healthunlocked.com/pasoc/posts

as getting a diagnosis can be really difficult - let alone getting treatment.

There are other things that can cause depression so hope that your GP has been thorough and investigated those. Hope you do find a way out.

[Farry5 in reply to jane51]

Hi there nothing has worked for me yet I've been suffering with it since I was thirteen and I've not really had much help from the go I just try to ignore it and get on which is hard as I always have melt downs. Sorry I wish I could say something positive to help but it is difficult.

[Stilltrying_ in reply to Gambit62]

This is so poignant Gambit62 Thank you for sharing.

[snicolle54]

These things take time but there is a light at the end of the tunnel you will win

[Goldfish_]

Hi Farry

How about joining in the discussion? It's all about trying to help you.