worrying about money!

Hi again I really hate talking about personal things but I've been talking to Unison and my doctor and my bank about money worries I am having, its been like this a while, i'm more worried about my overdraft which i can not seem to get out of and keep recurring overdraft fees and bills that bounce back, I am 29 and the reason why I have a debt or shall i say a overdraft of £1000 which now i seem to go over because i cant seem to clear it from my wages and due to life and how much the essentials cost, but whilst trying to keep a full time job and a normal mental health and food and a roof over my head its getting very hard. this all started as i buried my head in the sand when i got diagnosed with testicular cancer when i was 25 which i've had no effects since touch wood.

I just wanted to drown my self in alcohol and forget about the world and just not wanna deal with this that i could easily up my over draft limit and now this is a constant reminder that what my past has been like, to which i'm going through every which way i can to get help with this but i'm getting very upset, frustrated, and its getting to the point that i'm not sleeping well or if i do sleep its in the most weirdest times.

I don't know what to do, I've asked friends and family for help but this is not easy on me or them, i just wish that it could be wiped away and never return but i know its not gonna be that simple. but trying to get my point across is hard work...

many thanks for your time



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8 Replies

  • Hi there don't feel bad about talking about personal stuff, at least you are honest.

    Here's my suggestion for what it's worth. How about you take out a loan to clear your overdraft and you could set up a repayment plan with your bank. At least then you would have No overdraft to remind you of the past, ok you would have a loan, but a loan is reducing every month, and you will feel better because you are addressing it rather than burying your head in the sand.

    Try not to let it get you down, and I feel for you in this situation. We all make mistakes in life so try not to be too hard on Yourself.


  • Hi sit down and work out a budget you can stick to. Make a list of all your outgoings and incomings and see what you can cut out. Maybe you have a coffee when out and about, or maybe you buy lunch at work. Cutting out the coffee and making your own lunch will make a big difference.

    I know it's boring to have to budget but very worthwhile if you can sleep at night and at least you will be taking some control back. x

  • Is there somebody you could stay with to help reduce the amount you spend on accommodation?

    There is help out there. You could talk to citizens advice about debt. Problem debt can usually be partially or even fully written off, though you have to decide what's best for you, taking into account credit rating etc.

    Debt can be very stressful, but try not to worry too much. Too much anxiety is bad for your health and counter productive. All anybody can do is their best.


  • Hi Lee,

    First of all I'm really glad to hear that you are ok and well done for getting through cancer. You did what you thought you needed to to cope, it might not have been the best way, but don't beat yourself up about it.

    Onto some more practical advice. I used to work for a bank in their lending department so I hope what I have to say helps.

    Firstly, it is worth using a budget calculator to work out what is coming in vs what is going out. moneysavingexpert.com/banki...

    Martin Lewis offers some great advice. For most people their direct debits are roughly the same every month and nearly always go out on a similar date. I personally have a journal that I write in at the beginning of every monthly cycle to work out how much will come in, and how much will go out. Once I've done that I figure out how much I will spend on fuel, food shopping etc. Then I know what I have left over to save or spend. You can use a journal or a spreadsheet, it just means you are being proactive instead of reacting to missed direct debits after the fact.

    To add to your proactive approach it is definitely worth doing online banking. It's usually a bit of a pain to set it up, but you can keep track daily of what's happening. I have two main bank accounts. One where the wages go in and one for the bills. At the beginning of the month I transfer all of the bill money into one account. This doesn't include money for fuel etc. I transfer the money in and then leave the account alone.

    Now Hannah has suggested that you get a loan, and this is a very good suggestion, however you've said that you've had direct debits bounce and gone into an unplanned overdraft. As long as you made the payments within that calendar month and didn't go into arrears it shouldn't show on your credit score. Based on my professional experienced know that it's highly unlikely that your own bank would lend to you as you have demonstrated that you fail to make payments. ***It's important to note that I am in no way judging you or admonishing you at all, I'm merely pointing out the way most banks run***

    That being said, you do still have options. Some banks offer 0% fees on overdrafts for a set amount of time, others will give you money to switch over (money that you can use to reduce your overdraft). Others have deals where you pay a monthly fee and get benefits but also get charged a set amount each month or where they won't let you go over your limit, or have a fixed fee for failed direct debits. My point is, is that you don't need to stay loyal to your bank if they can't offer you a good deal. They want you to stay in debt and they want your debt to stay with them. Make the bank account work for you. You have to, again, be proactive and do some research.

    My last piece of advice that links back to my first piece, is to figure out how much money you can save. Don't buy that take away, or go out to the pub. Get rid of Sky/Virgin. Check around for cheaper energy deals, ask to car share when driving to work. Reduce your luxuries-it doesn't have to be permenant. Use that money to clear your overdraft.

    Say you managed, by cutting down to save £50 a month, and your overdraft was £1000. You'll have it cleared in 20 months. Sometimes loans of low amounts have higher APRs than overdrafts.

    I hope this helps. If you need more help just give me a shout.


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  • Hi Lee, I've been wondering how you are and I see you are still being challenged. As I know nothing about money except how to spend it and that there is never enough I won't be much help in this area. I do think you have been given some good advice and I hope it will be useful to you . Maybe you could try some yoga for the stress. Chin up old bean. (This is how we Americans think you Brits talk.) Pam

  • Hi Guys and girls, just to let you know that i am fine i spoke to the bank and they could see that i wasn't over spending and was getting in to trouble because of the amount i had to pay back in bank charges so all is well sorry for being quite just trying to focus on getting things sorted but thank you all for your help and kind words .. x peace xx (chin up everyone and remember an act of kindness goes a long way) xx

  • Wonderful to hear from you and such good news too. Well done you. Pam

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