There's got to be more to life but I don't know how to find it.....

[Emmie-Lou2]

I feel stuck in a rut and have lost myself.I have nothing to look forward to except going to bed or laying on my sofa watching to. I have work, I have chores, I have responsibilities and the odd couple of hours with my sister or friends but I'm not anyone's first priority. No one wants to come and spend some time with me. There's no one to say hey lets go out for a drive or go get something to eat. Theres no one to give me hugs. There's nothing much going on at the weekend. There's nothing that makes me want to make an effort with myself. I'm getting fatter and my skin is getting worse because I pick as a result if stress and anxiety, but my mood is also getting lower. There's no one to cook for. I don't have any get up and go and I'm wasting my life but don't know how to get my life back because I'm naturally someone that likes to be home and find the idea of going out really stressful after so long hiding at home. Any advice would be gratefully received. 

[Stilltrying_]

Hi Emmie-Lou, I can commiserate with your feelings as weekends can be very difficult for people without close connections. Obviously I don't know you well and you have posted on a depression site so it could be worth a visit to your GP if you think that your low mood is the overiding factor and  you feel you don't have any control over it as medication can help with this. 

If it is more a question of circumstances then could you find a hobby or interest wherein you might meet people and if you are looking for the special one or a close relationship maybe go to those things where that person may hang out? To be sure staying at home you won't meet people and you may just need to move out of your comfort zone   

It could be your mood is too low and there are sometimes support workers who can help you access the community again and get you out and about. Not sure where you are based but organizations such as Mind in England can help with this sort of thing. 

Gemma xx

[Emmie-Lou2 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thanks Gemma.

I have suffered with depression for 15 years and I'm on the highest level of meds that I can handle unfortunately. I have such a tight family but they cant help with this stuff. I am thinking about wanting a partner in my life.

There doesn't seem to be much support for mental health in this area, the south east, but I'll have a think about mind.

Thanks for taking the time to give your advice x

[Stilltrying_ in reply to Emmie-Lou2]

That's ok; sometimes it's difficult to give the right advice without more details though I have just noticed that you posted before, about 2 years ago about depression (so I was being lazy not looking back before!) 

 Yes I know what you mean; family are not always good with dealing the reality of the sort of feelings that we get which can make us feel more alone .

That's nice that you're thinking about wanting a partner. Sometimes I think you have to be very calculating in that respect and just go all out to get what you want. Take some risks; ask some people for coffee and a chat and tell them about yourself and see how you get along. Go to something which genuinely interests you (preferably) or if not go to something where the type of person you want to meet goes to. 

Someone once advised me to go to a chess club if I want to meet men but I don't want to meet men, so a chess club is a bad idea for me! You've got to laugh sometimes! x

[Hidden]

Hello Emmie

Personally I do not know your age or if you are with someone or you are suffering from a failed relationship. All I can really suggest is for you to try and join a club or association that may be able to give you a boost when new people are introduced  into your life. When I suffered my first Depressive phase I took on various activities and attended Night Classes on something I was interested in. I qualified in Youth Leadership eventually and I made new friends on the course and later Community Centres. You never know what can be achieved when we study something we want to do. Give it a try

If you are feeling so depressed that you are not functioning, you need to see your GP and explain your worries and feelings. Generally speaking there is always several problems that can make people feel so low, when you understand those problems you can act upon them and that can help your mood. You Sometimes  need to be brave to get your live back and function in that new positive way

Good Luck

BOB

[Hidden]

Hi I emphasise coz I am in the same situation as you and I am also no ones prority in anyones life.    The sad fact of life is if you are on your own no one is going to beat a path to your door.   You say you have friends - have you tried ringing them and inviting them out?    Or how about your family?  x