I need help

[dixie09]

I stumbled across this page tonight after tossing and turning unable to sleep after another night of tears. I always seem to put a brave face on and help everyone around me but no one seems to return the favour. My biological dad walked out on me when i was baby, I luckily got taken on by an amazing man who was proud to say i was his daughter, unfortunately he passed away before i was a teenage and it left me heart broken, my mum got married and i was excited to get a father figure again but he turned to drugs and turned his back on us too. I finally met someone when i was 18 who i thought was amazing but unaware i was getting my self in to a 2 tear physically and emotionally abusive relationship. After going through school with people making fun of me for being tall or have a mole on my face or being fat and ugly and receiving comments from my ex i have zero self esteem and confidence in myself and people who come into my life. I have some really big dreams and goals and continue to try but after several failures and embarrassments these past few years i feel like I'm not even worthy of what i want to accomplish. I wish i could believe in myself and not look in the mirror and cry with disgust of what i see. I feel so alone and i feel like this is what my life will be like.no one is answering to my crys for help I wish my dad was here to look after me 

[Hidden]

Hi I am so sorry you are going through all this.   Have you sought help from the doctor as it is possible you are suffering from depression?   If you are not sure why not google online depression tests which will give you a guide.

It sounds like you might need counselling and maybe meds as well to help you deal with the past and be able to move on to your future.   x

[dixie09 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 17, I've tried Meds but they just make me feel sick and even lower I really don't know what else I can x

[Hidden in reply to dixie09]

Have you tried every different med?  Do they all make you feel lower?  You can feel worse for a while after starting them until they kick in properly at around 4/6 weeks.    All meds are different and you will probably find 1 or 2 which suit you.

Have you ever gone for counselling as this might help as well?  x

[Matrix]

Oh my sweet girl , I'm so very sorry you are going through this alone . You are worthy and deserve nothing but the best . I agree with coughs lot below . I think with all you have gone through it would be surprising if you were not depressed . Please go and see the dr he /she can help you .This does not have to be your life , I know how you feel , I had a very difficult childhood too . But as I live and breathe I can tell you your life can be better and once you have had talking therapy and maybe some antidepressants , life will be much better . Come back and let us know how you are doing . Remember that you can be the change in your life . Bless you 🙏🏻😇

[dixie09 in reply to Matrix]

Thank you for this it really made my day x

[Matrix in reply to dixie09]

You are so welcome and I meant it when said pop back and let us know how you are doing . X