Meh

[AmeliaIvy]

Hi guys, I'm really down right now. I've been suffering with depression for years but I've been off work for 10 weeks now. Only last week I decided to tell my partner about the voices I hear. I hate myself for it now. I was planning on breaking up with him during this time because I don't want to feel like a burden on him. Obviously, with me I over think things when I'm especially low. He was joking around about me not being able to take a joke. I asked him if I bore him and he hesitated. Am I over thinking this? 

Please take into consideration that the voice I hear likes to taunt and scare me. This was pure ammunition for him. Telling me I bore him, I should cut myself, I should run etc.

[Incomplete]

It takes a brave person to admit that you know? I have two mental health problems. One of which involves severe and sometimes aggressive mood swings, crippling neurosis and episodic psychosis. Basically I hear voices too. Though it is not always as simple as that 99% of the time I don't hear them. More I know what they hve said but don't CtuLly ear ten: 

It took me three years before I told anyone about any of it. The only person who knows I detail is my fiancé. 

That alongside being severely physically disabled for me? I wasted to run for the hills but I didn't. Because I have faith I her. 

It probably sit seen like it when I tell you it will be okay, but it will. Strength comes from within yourself. M

If the voices are persistent, you need to reach out for help. Be that from a psychiatrist or whatever it is. I don't entertain psychiatrists, but I'm trained in psychology.  I treat myself but find that forums and support groups are quite helpful in coping. 

If you need a chat ever, just send me a message but know whatever, you're certainly not alone

[AmeliaIvy in reply to Incomplete]

I've got an assessment on the 8th of April for it all. Hopefully they can help me. I absolutely adore him and after writing this post I just broke down and told him. He's never hugged me so tight in the years I've been with him. 

I think partly is because we're buying a house in 2-3 months time and when we get it, we're starting a family. I just kept saying, who would want a child with me? I'm a wreck. All that stuff. He's been a rock for me. I can't thank him enough. I feel better for opening up to him though now. I just find it very hard due to past experiences.

[Incomplete in reply to AmeliaIvy]

It can be hard, very hard. Sounds like you have something special in your partner so keep him. I always think I'm a wreck, made worse by the fact that my fiancé and I want children, but I can't give her them. 

I suppose however we need to count our blessings to see how fortunate we are, which should help us through. 

[AmeliaIvy in reply to Incomplete]

I'm really sorry. I had no idea and I don't want to come across as insensitive. That's the last thing I want to do. 

[Incomplete in reply to AmeliaIvy]

You didn't seem insensitive you didn't know.  I understand it is what I'm trying to say. It's great because, partners see in us what we will never see ourselves, that is that whilst we may think, I'm a mess why would they want me, or, why would they want my kids. They see that we are wonderful people, who they love and cherish and want to have a family with  

That's a positive right?

It's our friends an family who are most important at this kid of time. Because they see us for what we really are. They love us for it too. They'll stand by us and support us and remind us that they care. That they are there. 

[Allestklar123]

hi Laura and Robin

You both come across as lovely people.   

Ally