Black days

[poppysam]

I am in a bad way tody, no one to speakto I feel so alone everything in my life is an effort. I do not want to go out or socialise. am under the doctor but they not very helpful at the moment, have to go back in a week so will see what more can be done, just feel so empty,

[Iluvhorses]

I'm sorry, but I don't know what to say. But you can talk to me anytime here.

[poppysam in reply to Iluvhorses]

mbvu thank you for at least replying there is nothing anyone can say I have to just try myself and be strong.... I feel I have to be there for everyone else but nobody there when I need it It is kind of you to let me pour out my troubles to you .

[Cuddlybarb]

Having depression makes us feel all those feelings. It makes us isolate ourselves and hide away. Our energy levels drop and we want to stay under our duvet all day.

A few years ago, I had all these feelings every day. During that time It was so hard but I made myself get up and make myself presentable . I forced myself to go out for a walk with my dogs and I made myself look after my house and family.

I know it's hard and sonedays the dark feelings and emptiness returns to my life. But I tell myself that depression is a bully and I won't let a bully get the better of me ! So I drag myself out of bed and do my day's activities ( a big struggle sometimes).

I have discovered the importance of relaxation and I make sure i do some calming activity everyday. I sometimes cry, sometimes laugh but I always stand up and fight my depression.

Look after yourself and remember we are all here for you.

Lots of hugs,

Barbara X

[poppysam]

Thank you Barbara for your comments , take it on board, but as I live on my own it is very hard to get motivated.... I am trying to stay positive at the moment taking each day as it comes. Thanks again

Hugs back to you

Poppysam x

[Hidden]

I'll loan you my husband, you'll still be depressed, but for entirely different reasons. I am rather solitary which is one reason I like forums. When I've had enough I just hide away. I have struggled with major depression and I do take it seriously. It is so hard to drag yourself out of bed, or to get dressed. Just attempt one thing and when you've been successful reward yourself. Have a chocolate bar, tell us on this forum. I want to know how you're feeling.

I did something new to me this winter. I took an online class at one of our major universities . It's free to anyone in the world. The subject was Winston Churchill. He was a truly amazing man and he fought depression all of his life. It was such an encouragement to realize what he had gone through and accomplished.

[poppysam in reply to Hidden]

I think you sound like a lovely person, I don't think I will bother with your husband, that made me smile for the first time in days, I am also a solitary person but do not like being alone which is what I feel. Have a disabled son registered blind so is unable to do anything for me , he has problems of his own. I was wondering how you got on to your online class, if you can give me any idea or what site it is I would be most grateful as I feel I need something to focus on.

[Hidden in reply to poppysam]

My name is Pam and I've been married to my old curmudgeon for 51 yrs. If you won't have him I guess I'll have to see it through. You make a good point, being solitary is different than being alone. I still have that alone feeling from time to time. I do take anti-depressants which help, but I also have to make myself work at being positive. Sometimes I pretend my way through the day if that makes sense to you. Changing my thoughts can change my mood. If you google Hillsdale College, Hillsdale, Michigan USA that should get you to it. They may ask for a donation, but you can just ignore that. I also took a class on C S Lewis which was very good. The common thing is we all struggle, some of us more than others, and some of us hide it better. I'm a good hider which isn't always a good thing..

Let me know how it goes.

[poppysam in reply to Hidden]

Hi Pam, This is nice as I am also called Pam, meant to be . I have a partner but we don't live together ( think I would kill him if I did ) haha . The only thing is he doesn't understand what I am feeling like and is now getting fed up of the way I am being, which makes me feel worse. We are not young people I am 68 and he is 73. I am struggling with my feelings , trying to think of things to occupy my mind is hard at the moment. But I am going to try and be positive, and next time I speak I will be more fun. Take care and enjoy the day.

Pam

[Iluvhorses]

I'm not trying to forceanytging on you, but I am a die hard Christian. My faith has helped me a lot with my depression, anxiety etc. It is really nice to know that there is a God looking out for us and that we can put everything on His shoulders.

[Iluvhorses]

*force anything*

[loggerslot]

Hi Sam,

Everything is a step at a time. Its fair to say that you don't want to socialise but don't let that be a permanent barrier. If you want to get better then at some point you will need to gradually build that confidence to meet people and it's something that I completely understand will take time to nurture and build. I was never good at meeting and talking to people and ended up nervous and get hit by stress and anxiety and the natural reflex is to avoid meeting people and I've done that a few times since recovering from depression. the stress is one of the causes of depression and learning to feel relaxed and calm in a difficult situation is a difficult practice to beat the stress and eventually beat depression.

You can get the support you need from doctors but if you want my advice don't rely on them too much. if they give you medication then see how you feel and use that to help you pick yourself up and move forward to get better otherwise the way I've done it is to get active with things to do and occupy your mind and time with things to learn and do and they don't have to cost a lot. I always view medication as a temporary fix and to beat depression you're basically reprogramming yourself to react differently and learn to be calm and relaxed and that can take from a year to 3 years.

An example of things I do are:

gardening,

racing at rc car club,

rebuild my own dc motors for rc cars,

electronic repairs,

model boat making (to do list)

woodworking

gym (I try :-s )

Don't let age or gender get in the way of things you want to do. to learn let your curiosity drive you and use the internet to learn and build your skills, join forums if needed and that way you can interact with people without them knowing you and you can slowly build your skills to socialise and eventually, if you want, help others on the forums.

remember step at a time.

[Chubbers]

Awww honey I'm here for you!!! I understand it's such a struggle. Love and hugs 💛