first post

[mascott66]

i just wanted to tell someone my story i hope someone reads this. ive suffered from clinical depression for nearly 10 years. ive been to my gp several times over the years and ive been given drugs every time but i always stop taking them because of the horrific side effects (manic, unable to sleep, consonantly exhausted/dizzy and they also rob me of my sex drive). i have also tried counselling this has a very short term effect. i really dont know if i can go on like this much longer and this terrifies me

[KNOW_OCD_MOR_THAN_ME]

Hi there. Very sorry to hear about your struggle. I know its not nice-not nice at all. I'm April. What is your name? Would you like to talk about things a little more in detail? I too suffer with depression...anxieties...OCD...PTSD...eating disorders etc. Different intensities t different times. But i understand, its all an ongoing struggle. X

[mascott66 in reply to KNOW_OCD_MOR_THAN_ME]

April that's a nice name :). My names josh. I would be good to talk some time thank you

[KNOW_OCD_MOR_THAN_ME in reply to mascott66]

Thanks Josh. Okey dokey...talk away...whats on your mind? Tell me a bit about yourself x

[Hidden]

Hi there must be some ad's which won't give you those kind of side effects. Maybe it is a case of persevering until you find one?

Most ad's do have some starting side effects until they are fully in your system, then they mainly disappear once your body has got used to the drug. Maybe you have had the wrong type of counselling as well? There are different types. What have you tried?

Often depression will go away of it's own accord but it's obvious yours isn't. The only treatments I know about are meds and/or counselling.

Maybe you can self treat? Have you done any research on this? Eg St. John's Wort is supposed to be good for depression but only mild. Some people say Lavender oil helps them. I hope you find your answers. x

[mascott66 in reply to Hidden]

I've only been given one drug but different doses. I have been reluctant to take any others becasue of what they did to me. As for couselling, I saw one for a few months once a week. She Brought up some very difficult subjects but talking about these made me feel better. I think I would have seen her more it I could afford to at the time

[Hidden in reply to mascott66]

Well maybe that drug doesn't agree with you? I tried 2 before I finally settled on sertraline which works well for me. Because 1 drug had that effect on you doesn't mean others will.

You could ask the doctor about the type of counselling which has helped you. You never know it might be available on the NHS. x

[lonelyone]

I don't know what to say.im sorry. Except I DO FEEL YOUR PAIN. And COMPLETLY GET YOU> <3

[mascott66 in reply to lonelyone]

Thank you that means alot

[BonnieSue]

Antidepressants can help your depression greatly...you can feel normal and quite good on the right one for you, but they do interfere with a normal sex drive and functioning. That's the bitter trade-off. With the side effects you mention, I don't think you were on the right drugs for you. You probably need a psychiatrist because your GP just didn't know what to prescribe that didn't leave you with so many bad side effects. I would ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. You may be bipolar, it's hard to know for sure, but you need an expert to treat you.

You should see this Dr. every few months, not several times over the years!! That timing will get you nowhere!! There's no monitoring and adjusting to get the meds working correctly at the right dose which can change as the months pass if you don't see the Dr. every few months!

A good counselor will help you and what you learn will last long after the counseling is over. You can take notes if need be. You learn techniques and methods of handling things that are for life. I know I absorb what I learn and keep the good, helpful things in my heart and mind for use down the road. You still need a good counselor and I stress GOOD.

I wish you all the best and would love to hear that you're doing better sometime later down the road.

[mascott66 in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you for taking the time to write this much appreciated. I definitely think I need to see a professional. My gp has never refered me. I do worry there is something major wrong with me that hasn't been diagnosed. I've always had it pretty rough and just had to get on with life. I suppose I've always been scared of what a psychologist might say but thinking about it it can't be worse than I'm feeling now

[BonnieSue in reply to mascott66]

So far it seems what's wrong with you could well be the depression--whether it's moderate or major depression or bipolar doesn't have to be a horrible thing, it can mean as little as the difference in the drug or drugs you take. It seems bipolar people run into trouble when they decide they don't need to take their drugs.

You've already had counseling about some difficult subjects so that isn't something new to fear. It's as you say--you can't feel any worse than you feel now without any treatment at all.

Sometimes it takes trying out more than 1 drug until you find the right one, but you have to give each one a few weeks fair trial so it has time to work. That often means putting up with some side effects even if they are mostly temporary. You need to keep your eye on the long term goal of feeling better than you've ever felt before and finding out that life can be much more enjoyable than it is now. I hope you decide to do this and reach your goal. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Elainerevolves]

Hi there; I've been in the same place for a long time, so I know what that feels like.

I recently decided to stop taking all meds ( I don't advise this, I'm not a doctor), because I've come to believe that all the medications I've taken have done me more harm than good; weight gain , brain fog , depression, anxiety, many horrible side effects).

I watched something on YouTube, which has had the effect of opening a window in my mind, and let the sunshine in!

youtu.be/kYX87kkyubk(Not working as expected?)

I've decided after watching that talk, that I'm not going to let stupid emotions lead me by the nose anymore; I want to be controlled by intelligent thoughts, not waves of emotions... Being a woman is half the problem, our hormones control us without us realising it.. But separate "feelings " from the facts, and you've got the truth!

Now, when I something happens that blows me away with emotions, I slam the brakes on, say hang on .. STOP! What's the reality of the situation here? What the solution?

This new tactic has been just the ticket , to functioning efficiently, rather than a puppet controlled by invisible strings, which are the emotions. ..

I am now filled with hope & enthusiasm , ( my wardrobe, which is 95% black clothes , now needs updating) and have realised actually, I'm going to enjoy life from now on...why the hell not! The choice is mine! I am the master of my universe ! Not anyone else!

Good luck, I hope you find your way to beating this darkness, you can do it!

[Skahadiva]

I share your pain and definitely feel for you. I have had Major Depressive Disorder for many years and have been medicated for nearly all of them. The meds help for chunks of time before the poop out, but they are not without side effects. I've found that almost all make me hypo-manic for the first 3 weeks or so, and all impact my sex drive. At some point you've got to make some sacrifices in order to feel better which is, of course, better than the alternative of not being able to go on. I really recommend you have your doctor refer you to a psychiatrist; s/he will know meds much more thoroughly than a GP and will also have insights into courses such as CBT which could be a tremendous help. If you have a Mental Health department in your hospital or elsewhere in town, you can even get set up with a mental health support worker.

At the very least, my advice to you is to push through those side effects of the meds and see if you don't come out the other side feeling much better.

I wish you all the best. Stay safe.

[mascott66]

My name is josh and thank you all so much for you replies it means so much that people will listen :). I'm going to see a different gp next week. I'm the mean time I really want to talk to my friends,family and partner about all this . See no one knows how I feel and when I say no one, I mean the only people that know are you guys I'm talking to now and one gp. I don't want to tell them becasue I don't want to make anyone upset