Enduring just isn't working

To start things off - this is my first thread in this forum. I saw it and thought I could use it as a resource to get some advice. I'm Katy, I'm 20, working full time and going to college part time. I was officially diagnosed with severe depression at 14, and haven't received any treatment after diagnosis.

I'm struggling with balancing my responsibilities. Working by itself is manageable for me, but when school is added to the equation I begin to feel as if I'm drowning. All my days off from work are given to school, with no real free time. However, I force free time by being negligent on assignments and studying, and my grades are often poor. This creates another cycle of stress from falling behind, forcing me to cut my hours at work.

I live on my own with my boyfriend and a roommate who is a dear friend to us both. We equally split financial responsibility, and moving back into my parents isn't an option. I want to get my associates, but I'm constantly considering dropping out to give myself a break. However, everyone tells me I should drop hours at work, and put school first. I am an essential provider to us, and cutting hours at work would be detrimental.

My mental health is deteriorating by the day, and I feel as if I'm beginning to disassociate from myself and my obligations due to my long-term stress. I can't afford to see a professional as my insurance has changed and no longer allows me to pay for appointments or care.

I can't see it for myself and I just need to know what would be my best option?

5 Replies

  • Hiya,

    I'm guessing you aren't in the UK so you don't have access to a GP? It is worrying that you were diagnosed at 14 and yet received no treatment. If you do have any access to a GP I would recommend you went to see them.

    I'm worried that you are under long term stress and may just break under the strain. I worked full time and did a evening class for a masters degree. It was a really, really tough two years. Your pressures would affect anyone even without any mental health issues.x

    I can't tell you what to do but your health is paramount. I would discuss the situation with my boyfriend and consider what to do together.

    Is there anyway he can pay slightly more and you could reduce your hours and focus on college? I don't know how long you have left to study? Is it years or one year or two? Could you extend the period of study - so take one module a year rather than 2 or 3? It would take longer but it might take some pressure off. Or even take a year off from college?

    Or take a small loan from your parents or a family member so you could reduce your worked hours? I know you have said you are an 'essential provider to us' but maybe your boyfriend could work a few extra hours to take that pressure from you. It seems overwhelming on you and you have all the responsibility. Perhaps you can let him have some of the responsibility?

    These are all suggestions and may not work for you. All I think is that you are spreading yourself too thin and will stretch yourself until you break. I don't want that to happen - you need to ask for help. X College will still be there next year or the year after.

    Good luck

    Sarah x

  • Hi I am a bit confused. First of all you say you split financial responsibility then you say you are an essential provider for all of you?

    Only you can decide which is more important to you at this time - work or school (what does getting Associates mean?). You are now not giving enough time to either so you are in danger of failing at both. I agree with Sarah that your bf could do extra hours to support you at this time. And how about the dear friend helping out more? Life can't be all work and no play otherwise you will crack up and where would you be then? No job and no school. Your decision. x

  • Hi there you said In your Post that you split financial out goings , yet you say that

    You are an essential provider ! Aren't the three of you essential providers! Do

    Your boyfriend and your dear friend work too?

    One way or another you will have to get yourself well and then try and do your

    Study, your health should be your priority and if working and studying is too

    Much for you, then you will have to give up study for the moment. Otherwise your

    BF. Could try and support you while you reduce your hours, you will have to

    Change something or you will crack up under the strain.

    I am surprised you are not getting help for Depression, could you not get help from

    A support group near you , or Therapy.

    Only you can decide what your priorities are, mine would be my health. Could you

    Move back to your parents while you study? Consider all options. I just get the

    Impression from your post that you are carrying far too much responsibility, maybeIm wrong.

    Sara and Cough have given you great advice to be going on with. So consider your



  • She says in her post that moving in with her parents isn't an option and can't afford to see a professional. X

  • uuuu

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