I've never done this before but I hope it might help. I might have depression, which I'll be tested for in September.
The reason why I can't have an appointment now is because I don't want my parents to know as they don't react well to mental illnesses and they would judge me for it and I don't like people looking at me with pity as if I'm abnormal if they found out.
I've recently broken up with my boyfriend because if I did have depression it was a deal breaker for him and he was in love with someone else, it was just a very unhealthy relationship but I still miss him. To make matters worse, I spoke to my ex who I'm not over 😔
I've told my two closest friends about everything, but I feel so alone and I hate to call them and bother them with my burdens. I feel so alone and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I haven't been through anything especially traumatic as others have so I feel like I'm so pathetic for overreacting to a breakup and getting depressed but I've felt this way before my breakup as well.
I'm incredibly stressed about Result's Day as my family have incredibly high expectations for me that I feel I cannot live up to.
I've felt very suicidal again and I just can't cope anymore. I want to get better but I feel so low. I can't be bothered to do any work, I'm either crying on my own or angry for no good reason.
It's summer and I should be relaxing but I'm stuck at home with my poisonous thoughts and I'm scared I'm getting worse to the point of no return.
I also study psychology for A levels which makes me even more anxious about my symptoms and lately I haven't been eating because I've felt so insecure with my body and I've skipped meals in a day. I feel like I wasn't enough for my exes, and I have such a negative view of myself. I'm worried I'm thinking myself into depression but I just don't know what to do.
I've lost my purpose to life. I no longer find joy in things to live for and although I want to be a clinical psychologist, the future seems so lovely and bleak and full of hardships I don't know if I can handle anymore.
I'm scared of my own mind and I don't know how to escape this.
I'm so sorry for taking up so much of your time, thank you so much for even reading this if you have.