i was so depressed and anxious about work i didn't notice my degenerative condition had got worse.

[maydave]

i never expected this to happen. to be so injured the investigations revealed i had along term spinal condition. i thought when i qualified as a teacher and started my favourite career in middle age that a new life was beginning. then i was injured at work , mashed some discs, misdiagnosed until eventually operated upon. the surgeon cut into a nerve by accident and here i am with a dead foot and crumbling discs.

the drugs have side effects which cooks up a brew nicely by the time i add moderate depression . it sounds so reasonable doesn't it, moderate depression as though deciding today i s not the day to end it all is normal.

i have had an annual laser beaming of nerves in my neck and spine which kills them. i do recommend this to anyone with pain. of course, they grow back which also hurts. but it is a good deal.

they mood swings and anger with frustration and worthlessness is, incredibly, the worst. the joyous highs and real lows have been replaced with periods of ok just now and deep down wretchedness. and the guilt for needing so much from my family is awful.

occasionally, i find another with the same experience and it helps me realise i am not alone.

[Hidden]

Hi this sounds awful. Are you on any treatment for your depression? Have you had any therapy? At the end of the day this isn't your fault and if it was another family member instead of you wouldn't you be glad to help? x

[KHaynes]

The other day I said to a friend "sometimes life hits you with a brick"

She replied "sometimes it hits you with two bricks"

I am so glad you have found the forum and hope it gives you some release.

Great pain is not something anyone should have to experience, ever.

Sometimes we need to lean on others.

The govt is trying to get us all cared for in our own home

Do you have a pa and respite

If not I can explain a little more if you can reply

K

[KHaynes]

Just linked this to your previous post

Please talk to your Dr

Ask for a referral to adult soc serves in order to arrange for a pa

This will give you and your loved ones a break

I will look for a link and post it soon as

K