Good intensions

Personally since this problem with Angela and Gena I am now considering my future on these sites.

If we are going this way I would prefer to consider my voluntary works and less potential back biting.

BOB

[_sally_alice-lp]

Hi BOB,

I've read the comments and I can understand why you feel this way. I can see why you may feel upset by this.

I hope you feel you can stay on this site, I personally find your responses and posts very useful, I may not always reply but I do read almost all of them.

There will be disagreements from time to time online just like there are in real life and we just have to choose to rise above it and carry on.

Some people on this site may be going through an awful period when they are writing meaning they don't always speak in the calmest way and can sometimes cause offence and I believe the best thing to do is to just try and stay out of the way. Because as much as you want to help that person you also have to think about yourself and how it makes you feel.

I hope you are okay, your responses are so helpful to many people including myself and remember that!

Wishing you all the best x

[angelite]

Hi Bob,

I am sorry to hear you feel this way.It was never my intention to cause a problem.

My experience of disability and neuro impairment has given me an insight into the many different styles of writing I encounter on sites and the possible reasons behind them. I have learned that the upper case etiquette rule does not always apply when dealing with a physical or cognitive problem.

This, then, perhaps gives me a different view point from others and I was attempting to illustrate my thoughts in what I hoped was a calm,balanced and respectful manner. If I have caused offence to anyone,then I offer my apologies.

Kind regards, Angela x

[Hidden in reply to angelite]

Gena blogged as reply please read, !!

It is not generally you although you did, get your charity to mark my list.

I am more than capable to do my research, and knew where the site was placed

BOB

[angse]

Hi Job

Stay on site you do help you know !!

[Photogeek]

Hi Bob I am sending you a Private Message .

Thanks

Hannah.

[celtic2746 in reply to Photogeek]

hi hannah sorry ive not posted lately ! i hope your keeping well david x

[WantToChange]

Hi Bob,

I didn't see the original post but this whole situation seems silly and perhaps has gotten a bit out of control. I personally don't want you to leave this site - you have been here for a long time. Please don't let a fallout put you off.

With regards to the capital letters, I was once told by the HU anxiety site that capitals were not allowed as some people can interpret this as shouting. Sometimes it can come across as aggressive. I suppose really, it is not usual to write an entire post in capitals. I would normally avoid reading posts written all in capitals myself for these reasons. But obviously there is a health issue involved and this has been explained (perhaps a little late in the conversation). But I do understand the whole stance of it seeming like the person is shouting etc.

Like I said, I didn't see the offending post but your first post seems helpful and insightful. Having read so many of your posts, I can't see you being cruel or offensive to anyone. Perhaps this should all be put in the past by everyone?

WTC xx

[Hidden]

I replied to a post by Gena, She seemed to be grieving her loss of sixty years, I wrote to console

Ten mins later I wrote a further blog regarding Gena using upper case.

Then I get a further e mail from Angela complaining regards comment on reason for Gena upper case I then took down the offending blog. I was not upset believe me !!

I explained to Angela that I would leave Gena to those who understand Her condition, this sounded unsatisfactory. As people with conditions described are best understood by those with that knowledge.

Angela sent a further note if I remember, still was not upset.

Gena wrote a storming reply and then I was getting annoyed as the reply did not represent the reply I sent. The whole thing felt very hateful So then I put this down as mental health problems caused by brain damage. I was now becoming annoyed

The next thing I know was a membership to Headway. I did not ask for that and no-one has any right to apply for a membership on my behalf. This arrived on my personal pages

Now I was really annoyed. I had waisted an extended period on the initial reply and I felt I was now becoming a whipping horse.

I do several pages on Health Unlocked and all this just seemed to be a waste of time I had tried to console someone and all I had was grief.

I have several reports to read so that I can comment next week and with this faff had lost the best part of three hours. As I am considering another posting with NHS.

Generally I love being on here with many who have been on this site for a long time. I have always been told in Mental Health to walk away when this sort of thing develops as all that happens more an more people become upset. This did not happen and all that was happening was people digging a bigger and bigger hole.

I am sorry for Gena and Angela, I had tried to help and it I was lacking, so technically I would walk away. Hopefully I have calmed and I will still remain on site.

Although now like I said this morning I will not deal with anymore texts from Gena, all I can say is I should have read all earlier e mails from Gena. that was my only error.

Although I suppose we all fail to do this sometimes when we are trying to help

I am still here and again I say sorry for this outbreak. I love all interaction on these pages and I was just very annoyed

BOB

[21esme in reply to Hidden]

Bob,

Please don't leave the site you are appreciated by so many, myself included.

Sarah x

[Gambit62]

Bob,

Know I'm not on here very often these days but remember your posts and responsens and believe you are a very valuable and active member on this site and it would be a loss to many others if you walked away.

I also remember having problems with one particular poster at one point who left the group in rather a spectacular fashion probably just over a year ago with a post that was almost immediately taken down and ...

I didn't see the posts concerned but can't imagine that you would ever have done anything intentionally and it is unfortunate that sometimes people react without reflecting on what is really going on but it does happen, though I know that is part of being in that god foresake place that is depression.

Glad to hear that your voluntary work appears to be going well.

[Hidden]

Hello

Can we expect you back in the future,

I have basically calmed now one of the problems is that we try and help people and they come back with a reply that has no representation of what had been said.

I really enjoy this site. and sometimes replies can sometimes be long and measured.

I am supposed to be attending a course that deals with inspections and I may have the chance of extending my involvement. So all is busy

Hurry back Gambit

BOB

[Gambit62 in reply to Hidden]

Bob, sorry for not replying - have only just come across this at looking at your post about more recent problems.

Trying to help people can be really difficult - particularly when they are in places where they sometimes don't respond correctly - for whatever reasons.

Can remember from the time when depression ruled my life that I'd sometimes be lashing out at people that I knew were trying to help but it was like it wasn't really me that was responding ... was certainly that way before the B12deficiency was diagnosed ... and that even continued until I actually managed to sort out the treatment that I really needed.

Sometimes you do just need to disengage a bit and remind yourself that when someone responds inappropriately that is their problem and the last thing you need to do is to make it yours.

Still an infrequent visit - spend most of my time on the PAS site as that is more relevant to me - learning what I can and passing it on to others ... and remember getting involved in one post there that I knew was getting out of hand ... fortunately the poster had the good sense to delete it all.

Also remember responding very negatively in the early days to someone who suggested that my depression might actually have been caused by my B12 on another forum, which, with hindsight - was so wrong of me

[hamble99b]

BOB, please stay.

you help and support many people and are one of the "names" I am pleased to see.

when we are trying to help another amidst, or in spite of, our own problems; we don't necessarily have the time or energy, or the need, to review a poster's previous posts. Why would, or should we?

It is a recognised practice on HU forums to suggest, or request, that sentences in capitols not be used in posts/replies. this is as a courtesy to HU members who are blind or partially sighted and need to use a reader program or app. where words in capitols are spoken loudly.

Some replies can also be mis-read, mis-interpreted due to the cold medium of text. you cannot see if the writer is angry, smiling or distressed. Emo's, the little yellow balls, can help - but only tend to be suitable for light-hearted comments.

I once spent 3 hours carefully composing a gentle, but helpful reply to someone only for them to quickly reply "You would say that."

deeply hurt and offended, I wanted to retort but, as you say BOB, I walked away... when I looked a bit later I saw they'd quickly added (something like this)

"oops! didn't mean to send, hadn't finished, I want to say...

" you would say that, you are always so supportive"

thankfully, I hadn't retorted!

Please stay, Angela has explained, let's draw a line under it.

I am not being unsympathetic to gena. I know how frustrating different conditions can be, but HU is a safe place where everyone is to be treated with respect.

kind regards,

hamble

[Hidden]

I enjoy this site and wish to stay at this time.

Also I have other voluntary work that needs my attention. This last two days has proved a time waster, I do object when people enter my private pages and enter me onto another Health unlocked charity page, I would love to know how this was done. The whole thing has proved a distraction that I wish to forget. As I thought that I was consoling someone.

All the best Hamble

BOB

I

[angelite in reply to Hidden]

Hi Bob,

Having just caught up with all this mayhem, I am confused as to how your name could be used to join another site ? ? ?

I can assure you it is not of my doing and am surprised you would think I would do such a thing : ((

My thanks to Want to Change and Hamble for the info on upper case usage, I was not aware of these points and have taken this on board.

I am sorry for your further trouble.My posts were not intended as a complaint or criticism, I was simply offering another viewpoint.

Please do not feel 'sorry' for me - pity I don't need, respect and courtesy I value. Thankyou for your time.

Kind regards, Angela.

[angelite in reply to angelite]

I have just checked the Headway newest members page and see no mention of your username - even more confused ! A

[Hidden in reply to angelite]

I was just checking, I must have deleted last night. With all going on was confused.

I was on laptop last night up until 11;30 so by that time would have been crawling the walls as I have other things on at this time.

All forgotten,

All the best, moved on now, Thank you

BOB

[Hidden in reply to angelite]

Hello Angelite

Why should I feel sorry for you?.

Believe me when I say the file from Headway is still there. I did not ask for this as I do not need another Health unlocked site.

My main problem here was the reply from Gena and the inclusion of the Headway membership.

If I do not understand a condition I try and refer on, this I did as a standard procedure.

I can confirm I was not upset and I removed the post Upper case as I did not want to upset you and Gena. Life is to short to have concern regarding this. Upper case policy was explained. I suggested to Gena that Headway would possibly be more useful than Anxiety and Depression.

Basically now I have really just forgotten all the hassle. i now just want to carry on with what I do on a daily basis.

Please understand, I look forward to your future activities on site and believe me when I say All is forgotten.

All the very best

BOB

[angelite in reply to Hidden]

Hi Bob,

Thanks for your reply-I have been worrying about the situation at work all day.

In one of your posts you said that you were sorry for me-I got the impression that I was being viewed with pity which made me feel uncomfortable.

I was also upset that you felt I was responsible for whatever has happened with a Headway page-it is not in my nature to do something like this and I certainly don't have the technology skills.Bear in mind you are talking to a woman that still uses punctuation for smileys as I cannot master the art of icons !

Perhaps you can find a way to trace or remove this ?

I am relieved that this has been addressed and I can feel comfortable again.

I agree that life is short,resentment is a negative and we are all hear to help each other.Onward and upward : )

Kind regards,Angela x

[Hidden in reply to angelite]

Hello Angela, please believe I have now forgotten all about what happened yesterday.

Personally I hav real problems as well with computers. Today I have been trying to send reports on emails to other people and it has had me puzzled, I will be asking for a meeting so I can get these files past over. I am really concerned as I need to be able to pass all this guff over

All the best

BOBxx

[Hidden]

Bob I have no idea what has happened and I don't know the people you mentioned. But I know I really enjoy reading your posts and comments. I hope you don't go!💐

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Aspen.

All forgotten now, we move on

Life is just to short to hold a grudge, I hope that is understood in this case.

Now we move on

BOB

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

❤️❤️❤️ Hope you and Hazel and Pax have a great day!❤️❤️❤️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Aspen

It has been windy up here today, hope that all is ok for you

BOB

[jue1]

Hi Bob, Looks like I missed the fun you have been having ---do not leave the site I like your posts (just doing a quick read back) on the night shift xxjue1 ps its normally me

who gets in trouble on this site ha ha

[Annie55406]

As far as I know, that was a one-time happening on this site. Don't leave us before you consider the good that this site has done for you and also for many more people

out there. These are the reasons you should stay; for helping both yourself and for helping others. That should negate the one time where things became difficult in that one instance. Please think about that. I hope you stay!

Sincerely,

Annie55406