Is it worth living anymore?

[Paragonnova]

This is my first attempt to reach out to someone in my life, i just feel like my life has no purpose anymore. i find myself constantly feeling like i am alone. i have no one to relate to in my life as all of my family either think badly of me or just have no common interest in my life or how i feel. i constantly feel alone, even when i am surrounded by people. its not like i don't have friends it is just that those friends don't really seem to care how i feel. they are not the kinds of friends that i care to burden with my personal problems. i am 16 (at school) and have upcoming exams, which i suppose could also mean that i am a very stressed out in regards to my efforts in school. moreover, i think that a lot of things in my life are stressing me out more and more. like my family. i life with my brother (17) and my mother, my brother has mental health issues - ADHD, forms of tourrettes etc.- and i constantly feel that i lack the attention from a parental figure. personally i like being on my own a lot of the time, however when my mother does pay attention to me its just criticism and arguments about my daily failings. i understand that most people will and do go through a lot worse than this at home but this sort of thing but i was always told that you home should be a place of safety and comfort. but this has never been the case for me, i suffer from what i have already mentioned ; in addition to daily verbal and physical assaults from a relentless older brother. i could see myself dealing with this however i suffer much the same in school -minus the physical elements- i always though that i could come home and forget about all of the events of the day. apparently i was wrong. very wrong indeed

I feel plagued by loneliness and depression, i find myself lacking the will to even live now. i would not go to the extent of something drastic such as self harming or suicide, but trust me when i say that i consider it on a daily basis but i don't think that i would have it in myself.

I dont even know if this will get read or will ever get read, but i am doing this in an attempt to seek something worth scaveing through all of my personal problems. i just can't keep this all held in anymore. i fear that if this continues then i may be pushed into a hole that i cannot climb out off...

[teajay]

It's good to reach out for help. There is help available. You won't feel like this forever. Don't give up. Sometimes it feels overwhelming and impossible but it isn't. Things will and do get better.

[WantToChange]

Hi there, sorry you feel this way.

I think the important thing for you to remember is that you are 16. You are still a child really. And that means one day you will move out of your parent's house and live your own life. You will be free.

I know where you are coming from in terms of the sibling having problems and taking up a lot of your parent's time. I was in a similar situation in my teens. I felt ignored at times and my problems seemed small to them. But you need to remember that it is hard for a parent to watch their kids struggle. Although you feel you are struggling, your mum will see that you don't have a genetic condition such as Tourretes holding you back the way your brother does. Plus your mother is doing this all on her own! If you don't have a dad around then your mum may feel alone in this and that may make her struggle.

School is a horrible experience. It really is. It was horrible for me. I grew up not knowing I had Asperger's Syndrome and looking back I know that made things worse. At least I know now and I try to work within my limits.

What I know is that people who reach out and seek advice cope better than those who keep it bottled up. So do keep coming to us to vent, it's what we're here for :).

I do empathise with you though, I was very stressed at school too and struggled every day. But take it from me, life gets better. I honestly think it does. I am now 24 and am getting on much better. I hope that will give you hope and something to hold on to.

Take care xx

[Paragonnova in reply to WantToChange]

i understand that my age may be limited , however this may just be the stubborn teen in me but my mother does know my struggle and openly admits it. yet she continues to verbally abuse me. i am called such things in line with "monster, despised and a mistake" again similar things to this happen in school but i always thought that i could escape from all of that at home. turns out i was wrong

[Lyd12]

I feel such sympathy for you in your situation.

I am 80 years old but I have three sons and do remember their teenage years very well. I was pushed to my limits, and I had a husband beside me. One son in particular tried to commit suicide over a girl. so forgive me if I say I can understand the stress your mum may be feeling and anything she says is said out of anger and not deeply felt. You can help her and yourself by trying to help her in any way you can. when we turn our attention to the needs of someone else, we forget our own troubles for a while. do your best at school, but many people have done well in life without qualifications. don't worry about it, it serves no good purpose. You are on the brink of manhood so by coping well with your undoubtedly difficult situation, you will give yourself something to be proud of later.

One lesson we learn from these forums is that many people have problems in life and a trouble shared is a trouble halved. keep in touch we all care about you. Love Iris x

[artisticfire]

I would like you to keep in mind, that at age 16, your brain isn't finished growing yet. This is important! It won't be until you are approximately 25. The teen years can be for many people, the hardest years of your life. Mine were miserable, but it isn't permanent. You have to realize that you need to give yourself a chance to get somewhere better and feel better about yourself, that is growing, and you haven't had that chance just yet.

I understand depression. It is a monster and you must keep fighting it. But also remember that one of the reasons that the teen years can be so hard, is that everything keeps changing. People come and go, and it can be hard to put down roots and make steady friends. And it is true, many don't care because they don't understand your position in depression. That simply means you are experiencing something more advanced and difficult then they are able to cope with. Most would freak out if they had to put up with depression, they've just never ever had it. And this is why they seem not to care. They are clueless. This is great you came to a place like this to talk. Many here will understand you. And if you keep talking, you will realize that you are not alone with these issues that you face. It may seem like 16 is old enough, but you will definitely see a difference at age 25. Give yourself a chance to grow, and YOU WILL get out of that hole.

Think of the future, you will get out there and find happiness. Family can be VERY stressful. I myself made the mistake of being right where you are, and then spending the next 20 years with family. Then, this year, my own mother doesn't tell me she had lung cancer, and dies less than a week after she couldn't hide it anymore. So I wasted a good portion of my life arguing with angry people who weren't that nice to me. And to top it off, they were my family. But life changed for me as it will for you. It is all different now and I don't have those people hammering me into depression. I made the decision to continue to grow and learn, even though I feel it is 20 years too late for that. So I understand misery in the teen years. And keep reaching out!