What does one have to do? Why does every thing go wrong all the time? You work all your life, you work hard, 70-100 hours per week, you get ill, your work gets rid of you.
Now still fighting the illness every day, 5 years of fighting, and still the world gives you all the crap, every day more and more. what ever I do nothing works out, is it just time to say enough is enough. Time to say goodnight to the world, I'm sure IT won't miss me.
Hello love
Believe me the world would miss you ?
I been where you are please call someone anyone get help before you do something you may regret and it will make things worse honestly
By writing on here I can only say I'm sorry how things for you are. life is nt fair you have a sh** deal
Please call family friend anything love please even talk it through with someone more experienced than me maybe Samaritan can help tonight and tommorrow is another day I'm sorry if I've panicked but I felt like you and I made things worse
Lots of love and hugs
Squeak xxxx
Hiya and welcome,
As squeak says you will be missed. If you are feeling at this point please ring the Samaritans. Work is often rubbish for a lot of us. Pressure, stress, never feeling as though you have got it done, managing people who are inept. I have experienced it and put immense pressure on myself to get it all right. It isn't worth it. Truly. You are worth so much more. I've worked my whole life for over 20 years and there is little thanks. Take a breath, can you look for something else? Please give yourself a break. If you are able take some time off ( or get signed off). I'm signed off at present from a very stressful job. It does help with perspective to take that breather. I know everyone isn't able to do that but please be kind to yourself.
Sarah xxx
Could it be that the job had to go because theres something better around the corner, do you remember a time when one job ended and you got another job you better enjoyed or were paid more for?
Could you and I take a step back, you Ferrarifx have manifest living in a country that lives in peace, you have put a roof over your head, you have running water ( water being so very wonderful). You have a lovely bathroom where you can either lounge in a shower or read in the bath. You access to a radio and can listen to endless new ideas, you have the internet which gives you access to the world, you've been resourceful enough to feed and clothe yourself. You're a kind person who has a code they live by and because of that the world is actually a better place. You are and this is a fact ONE of a kind there is NO ONE on this planet like you. You have talents some of which you keep secret (Im gazing into a crystal ball now...lol).
Look I have NO doubt in my mind the WORLD WOULD NOT! Be a better place without you, quite the opposite, so be knd to yourself, get some rest and remember in this life you are loved and cared for, even if it mght not feel like it this red hot minute.
As for those wasskles who upset you stuff them, if they are stupid enough to spend their energies trying to upset people, well poor them, thats all I can say, what fools!
You have a right to be happy, but more so you have a right to be YOU, warts and all 
P.S. I f*ck up regularly so you can alway point at me and say she started it ..lol
BiG KiSS X
Hi Ferrari, sorry it’s being such a shit Friday for you, it’s been a long fight for you, so don’t let this shit day make you give up that battle.
Your life changes every day, it’s the nature of the beast, please don’t think of depriving yourself of some of the good pleasures that can and will still come your way if you use your strength to battle on for a little longer.
Both life and death can be very scary, but one advantage of living is you know that things can get better, because in your lifetime you have experienced happiness, it’s hard not to at some point, but it’s so easy to forget some of those special memories when we need them most.
Sometimes it doesn’t seem like things are ever going to change, but slowly they do and you can feel the sunshine on your skin, the gentle breeze on your face or the sound of happiness carried on the wind. No matter how long you have been around there is still so much more to experience that can bring back both a sense for belonging and purpose, all we often need is a little help at finding that path.
Now is a time to recall when you have helped someone, spoken a few kind words of encouragement, remember those kind thoughts and then use that same kindness to your inner self, you can, and it can help weather the storm.
There are plenty of kind and caring people here that also would like to get to know you, so don’t give up on potential friends now you have found them.
Hugs to you xxxx
Monib what a lovely reply and such sensible words .You give so much warmth in your answers You make the world a better and more compassionate place Monib.
Thank you Gemma, I don't know how, as I always worry about what I write sometimes. I always prefer what I read from others like yourself xx English has never been my strong point as it took so long to get to grips with it 
but I love to write what comes into my head for some reason, which usually means I write far too much! (plus I can't spell)
Hope your weekend is going OK I seem to have caught a virus I think, so feeling very weak but went and watched 'Bake off', then couldn't help myself and started baking those Kouign amann pastries that they did this week! only I can't follow recipies so ended up playing about, think I did the sweet ones close to correct as they sure were flakey, and then got carried away with myself and made some savory ones filled with mash and red curry paste, shaped as sunflowers! trouble is I don't eat much wheat as it doesn't agree with me, so will have to do my usual trick of seeing if my neighbors want them but this time not sure if that's a good idea as my virus might be contagious? oh well I shall have fat dogs!
Hugs to you xx
Monib you Wasskly Wasskle how do you do that! You always say what 'I' Want to say only betterer....ggrrr
yeah FerrariFx ...just what she said!
Big Kiss XX
Hi all, thanks for all the kind words, it's so hard to fight everyday. I don't have any one to talk to, working so hard I don't have friends. I will keep fighting, it's just so so hard and tiring. I'm so glad I have found this website. I know I'm not alone, but it feels like it, I would love to have some one to talk to but I don't do the football pub thing, I prefer women, but people always say you can't have a girl as a friend, you must be sleeping with them. To sit by the river and just talk heaven. Thanks again for the words and hugs
Hi Ferrari, maybe society is changing so much now that we all isolate ourselves much more than our ancestors ever did which is very sad, and then to add suffering from depression which in itself can be a very isolating infliction can compound the feeling.
A lot of men say they prefer talking to women and also the other way round, maybe it’s because we all have both a masculine and feminine side that we like to be able to access through communication?
My ex-hubby used to say he found it so much easier to talk to women? But he never seemed to realise he was also wonderful at communicating full stop. We used to love having friends over when we were young and he was so good at talking about so many things, yet he was such a reserved person it took something like our get-together’s to bring him out of himself and shine. Maybe he could only identify himself with the feminine side of himself I don’t know, after all he did end up having identity issues that neither of us forsore
I guess maybe it’s what sort of women you are looking to communicate with? Whether its just young ones that are easier on the eye? Or just females in general! Which ever, just remember you enjoy talking which is more important than who it is you are talking to, that way you could be surprised from both men and women from all ages and walks of life, as they all have so much to offer when we are lucky to pass the time of day with them. I have a young ten year old who seems to like spending time with me at the moment, and she certainly brings out the child in me which is lovely I also had a gentleman friend who was 103 and we would talk until the early hours of the morning as he had so much to say! So thank you for just making me remember some of those conversations.
Maybe try and find out what sort of things are available in your area to meet all sorts of people and make new friends? Ever thought about taking up another language? You have to talk to each other in class and it can be so funny trying to do that when you are clueless of the right words, that it soon breaks the ice and in the breaks you soon get to talk more and know people better.
It's sounds like you didn't have this problem with the people you worked with, so maybe just needing to find the right social environment to just feel a little more relaxed in, and then you can build your inner confidance in yourself.
Hugs to you xxx
Ferrarifx I think many girls would be delighted to have guys as just good friends; its usually they are scared that the guys won't want "just" that. So if you want a girl for a friend I don't think that would be any problem at all. x
Hey stilltrying
Now I will have to try and find one with out looking like a old perv. haha
Goodnight have lovely dreams
Hey stilltrying
Now I will have to try and find one with out looking like a old perv. haha
Goodnight have lovely dreams
Hi Ferrarifx nice to meet you and welcome to the site. Before I say anything I just want to let you know that the use of swear words on this site is not acceptable. You may want to amend your post please. Go into 'v' at the bottom of your post and click edit.
Don't expect loyalty from employers these days coz you will just be disappointed. I have worked full time all my life and now at 60, with disabilites I am flung on the scrapheap. I can't even get my pension until 65 and am expected to sign on JSA. I am saying this not to gain sympathy but just to say that it is a poor reward for a lifetimes work. But I refuse to see myself as a victim and so must you.
Every one of us is unique so please don't take yourself and your uniqueness out of it. We all understand here about depression so you are not alone. This is a great site and we all support and help each other so stick around kiddo. Take care. x
I did it, thanks, I had been looking for days haha
Ta, Craig
Well said Cough, I hate bad language too and I think it's good to
Remind everyone now and again. Now I know some people don't have
A problem with it.
Hugs Bev
Hannah x
Separated at birth Hannah Bev xx
Hi cough sorry I did not know, I will change it, but not sure how, I cant see the V, I will keep looking
Hi Ferrarifx you are new here so not having a go at you. Some don't mind swearing on the site but others do and with an online forum like this it's best to err on the side of caution. I don't think any of us mind s.... or phkd (will leave you to work that one out ).
Underneath your post you will see 2 boxes. The first says Recommend (0) and the second box next to it shows a 'v'. Click on the v and you will see a list of options. Click on edit, change or delete it then click on edit response. Ok? Any questions about anything on here just ask. xx
Sounds like you need to go back to the gp, and say your tablets are not working, or need raising. normally you dont feel this way, its the depression talking.
I have been fighting it, and living with it most of my life. Trying to find the right drug and monitoring, is the key. To recognize when your feeling like this,,, knowing this is the time to go for help again.
Im soo glad I feel so much better, and now I have got my kids respect back. Before they were just fed up of me, because I was being negative in their mind which I was. When it happened to them then that is how they understood more.
Sadly in society until it happens to them,, they just dont understand, but that is not their fault.
So manage it, give it time, and you will feel much better. your life willbe given back to you, and you will appreciate it much much more second time round.
Thanks for the words, it is very hard, like you said people don't understand the illness, I am looking at a different med, now, as I'm on the highest amount now on the 3 different pills I take daily.
Sometimes I dont think the doctors understand, I can just get repeats on my perception, I have so many spare tablets, as they don't seam to check. Anyway I have had a better weekend. Again thanks for the message
Ta Craig
You are right they are only human, the only way you know is if you suffer it. I think it makes us a better person for it. Imagine if you trained as a counsellor you could make a difference, out in that stupid world. You dont know the reasons why they wanted to become a doctor,,, the pay, the prestige, because mummy and daddy wanted it for them.. the small minority is that they care. Gp is only a general practitioner. So they lightly cover everything. Now should you be asking to see someone who specialises. Or is it time to talk with a counsellor to help you deal with how this is making you feel . How is anyone going to learn if it wasnt for us 
dont give up hun x plz x things will get better x
Well done for managing to change it Ferrarifx - thank you. Bev xx
yes, my employers sacked me too.....
Hello again Ferrari f2f
You gave me a fright when I saw your post I do so hope that rather than my panicking you got lots of good advice looks that way.I do hope you can see that you would be missed and the lovely people here can help .I wondered if you felt any better love squeak xx
GOT ANOTHER INTERVIEW..??
Home from Mexico and feeling very low
Why are the mornings so bad?
