Depressed and Anxious

[Saida]

Hi, I've just come upon this forum after searching for people with similar experiences to mine.

My youngest is going to uni in 4 weeks and I am so depressed and weepy. He has suffered from depression for the past 2 years and attempted an overdose. We now have confirmation that he has Aspergers and as I'm still reeling from the shock of all this, he is now in a better place and excited to be going to uni. I am the one who is a weepy, soggy, quivering mess. I have made an appointment with a therapist for this Wednesday, and will consider taking something for my anxiety.

I am so happy that he now has the strength and confidence to do this, but my heart is weeping for him as I think how will I know if he is getting depressed again? How will I comfort/ take care of him?

I have thought long and hard about myself, and I have so enjoyed nurturing and looking after my children, I am planning a career in nursing.

But first, I need to get over this feeling that I'm living in a fog. I just think of all the lonely times I will have without him and am also dealing with the worry of how he will cope.

Please can anyone help me put this into perspective and help me stop crying?

[Hidden]

Hi Saida

Welcome to this forum. You'll get some good advice on here later once people are home from work.

I've never been in this position as I don't have kids. But what I can say is that you should feel very proud of your youngest. It's great that he isn't letting the depression or Asperger's stop him. He is becoming a man. All the hard work you have put in over the years is paying off. Be proud of that as well. I would simply say to let him know that you will always be there for him & be a safety net for him if he ever needs it. Let him know that however far away he maybe he'll never be alone.

I would imagine that for yourself this isn't just about him leaving the nest as it were. I bet that when his older sibling(s) left you always had another to nurture & dote over but as he is the last it's more difficult for you. Totally understandable. I guess now will be the time for a healthy does of "you" time. You can do some of those things you couldn't or weren't able to do before. Planning a career in nursing sounds like a great idea.

James

[Saida in reply to Hidden]

Hi James,

Thank you so much for your reply and welcome and words of encouragement. They brought a smile to my lips and tears into my eyes ( but in a good way!). You are absolutely right - I should think about how proud I am of him and the fact that he is not letting his depression and Aspergers get in the way of his ambitions. Yes I was fine when my eldest one went as I always had my younger one to nurture and look after.

Thank you too for reinforcing my idea of a career in nursing.

Best Wishes,

Saida