Are you depressed? Or do you have depression?

[n1k17a]

Morning all,

This is probably a very random question and maybe one in the same. But I've never really known what to say when discussing how I am to people. Am I depressed? Or do I have depression? xxx

[gardengnome]

ironically so many people at work seem to have depression that explaining things is almost unnecessary, Oddly I don't think that it is because of the work, but about a year ago a couple of people became open about their problem when they had to take time off sick, and since then, it is like everybody just understands and can talk more freely.

It has been an eye-opener how many people have "been there-done that" How to get the ball rolling when people around you are too nervous to talk? There is always the old favourite of talking to the work gossip.. Some people include lots of links on facebook to self-help and awareness sites, kind of educating and helping friends at the same time.

[Suzie40]

I think it's always best to avoid any label, as you run the risk of it becoming all that you are. You have many qualities and attributes, and you just happen to have depression as well.

[n1k17a]

Everyone I know has been 'depressed' at some time or another, and it annoys the hell out of me because it makes me feel so inferior that they can overcome it without the use of medication (in their minds) so why can't I. When in actual fact we all know that the majority of them don't actually have depression. I guess you 'have' depression like you have any other illness. Like you say Lucy, it's not the be all and end all of me, so why do I need to justify my illness to myself or anyone else for that matter! If someone has the flu, nobody questions it. It's accepted with and moved on from. xx

[gardengnome in reply to n1k17a]

was thinking about your question some more, people do understand illness as a physical thing, depression can be very physical in its' causes too. The brain chemistry does go off the scale sometimes, yes those self-help techniques can help with damage limitation, but if the chemistry is messed up then the ups and downs happen. Describing depression in a chemical / physical way might help get friends heads round the reason that you need meds. I imagine they can empathise with your feelings, friends will have all had heart aches and loss, i think their challenge might be in understanding how the feelings can go on for years and years, in spite of "good things" happening.

[Stilltrying_]

You don't really have to justify it. Sometimes I say "I have suffered from anxiety and depression" very quickly (ie I speak it quickly and then move on) to some people. I never go into any detail at all and I do not even mention it to most or general acquaintances as there is no need really. Some people who have "suffered" themselves will "warm" to me and then open up about something about themselves pretty quickly after I've mentioned it sometimes.

There are a lot of people who have been depressed but it is still a bit of a

social taboo i agree. I just gauge it on the company. With some people they

will shy away from you if you mention anything to do with

mental health so other words which are easier for them to digest are "I get a bit stressed out by things ",or "I've had a lot on my plate with different stuff" or "I felt a bit strung out" or "I felt a bit down" or "I had family problems" or something like that; but only if you need to; to explain absence or if you think they may already know something its best just to come out with something to stop them speculating.

We sometimes think we are very different to "everyone else" and it is true there are many people who have no idea what depression is like; I think they panic a bit when you say it as they feel they have to do something; I've found its best not to mention to these people.

It absolutely is not the sum total of you and it is mainly you who has to deal with it as I don't think we expect other people to apart from the professionals,

Sometimes, infact quite often I feel more comfortable with people who have had some sort of mental health problem as there is that common bond and understanding. It's a question of getting the balance; not letting it define you but aknowledging to yourself and to those who you feel will understand or need to know in a professional capacity. For me if I am to get close to someone I think I will have to explain this aspect of myself at least in a marginal kind of way as it is part of me and they will soon find out. But I know I have many other positive qualities.

X

[Photogeek]

Hi I'm with Lucy on this one. Depression may be part of who you are but it's not all

Of you . Not knowing much about you or the context, I would be careful

At sticking a label on yourself. Also those close friends will know you have been

A bit down etc. Really you do not have to justify your problems to anyone, I would

Only tell " on a need to know basis" . So that's my advice. Because if you go on

About it you.might regret it later.

Hannah