Lost friends

[Rosie-Chan]

I lost my friends due to my depression a while ago and I am really starting to feel lonely. I don't know what to do about it. I am too afraid to go and make new ones because they may just do the same thing.

[Suzie40]

Losing friends is common to so many who suffer with depression. It either happens because we can't face getting out of the house to see them, or because they get fed up of trying to understand why we are miserable all the time. When you say you've lost them, is it too late to invite one for coffee and a little catch up? They might be just as keen to see you as you are them.

Little things help me, as I'm not a big fan of the socialising thing. Meeting in a neutral place for example means that I'm not stuck with them in my house for hours, getting stressed that my bathroom isn't clean enough. I'm also not at their house, feeling guilty that I only wanted to stay an hour but they baked a cake or cooked dinner for me. A central point makes a quick exit much easier.

If you're worried about friends leaving you, make some half friends. I call half friends people whose company I enjoy when I see them, but we don't contact each other at other times. This includes colleagues and people at the support group I go to. An evening class is a great way to make half friends. It's fun on someone else terms which means there are no expectations on your part to perform.

[maisiemoo14 in reply to Suzie40]

I understand the loneliness of friends abandoning you but that is their lost.

If you are a sociable person I would do as Lucy34 has suggested, start an evening class and make new friends. I lost all my friends (so called friends) because they believe my ex husband, when they found out it was him who was lying they tried to apologise but the damage had been done.

Yes, I am lonely but slowly I am getting more involved with disabled organisations and forums on health unlocked so hopefully I will start taking more baby steps.

So if you do start an evening class or something like that, remember baby steps at first until you find your feet.

I hope that helps abit, I also got a couple of dogs, they are brilliant and great company. Good luck and take care

[Hidden]

Hi

It sounds really sad to feel you have lost your friends due to depression - I wonder what kind of friends they were that you feel you have lost them completely. If they were really good friends then if you explain to them how you feel you may find you have not lost them but just stopped seeing them which isn't the same thing at all. However if you really have lost them then you need to think about how that happened. Ok, so you were depressed, but perhaps you can think about how you handled the relationships - did you talk endlessly in a low way rather than telling them you were depressed, or did you simply withdraw? Understanding what happened to end the friendships - if they are indeed over for good - will enable you to prevent the same thing happening again.

Why not give the old friends a ring, apologise for however you were with them that stopped you from seeing them, and see how it goes?

Suex