Mental Health Support

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Short Summary of the past few weeks

Well I think I'm doing better, the thing is I never really know. I realise that ups and downs are often what life gives you but mine are all quite sudden, one day I'm fine, the next I'm stressed or down in the dumps.

Anyways, gonna keep this brief ish.

I have been checking my application to uni alot, but I have got an offer from my first choice, its not the course I wanted originally but I think I still want to do it because it still covers alot of my interests (More ground so I can continue to think about what exactly I want to do next.) it is only conditional, so I've still gotta get the grades.

I've become a bit more active on some other sites, and am actually somewhat involved in helping a writer on a fiction site, so thats been a bit of an interesting experience.

I haven't really changed much college wise, but I am teaching some ukelele and guitar now (I've never done this before but I think I'm getting more comfortable with it).

I might be getting a tad stressed with coursework, I tend to do that, at the moment its with my philosophy and ethics.

I have also found that a friend of mine, which often proclaims me to be his 'best mate' has been flirting with my sister who is significantly younger than him behind my back (Though this isn't the soul reason). (I found this out today) not really sure what to say about this one, it'd be fine if he didn't go round dating and dumping week by week with different people (Just making it clear that the age difference thing isn't the main reason). I just for obvious reasons, dont want her to get hurt by him.

Anyways, I hope that wasn't to depressing to read. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this, though I don't think I ever am.

15 Replies

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Sounds as though things are going ok for you.And an offer from your first choice is great.

My older brother was very protective of me and ,in hindsight, he was right most of the time. But me, I had to find out the hard way.

Keep an eye on your sister and be there for her.

I think that is quite a positive post. Even so called 'normal people' have their ups and downs .

Be good to yourself... sounds as though you are doing just fine. Julie xx

Hey Julie,

The problem I'm having is that he is already going on and off with two other girls at the same time, she's aware of this (As I talk to her alot about things), I'm generally quite close and open with her and she told him subtly to leave her alone. But knowing him rather well I'm afraid that wont stop him from trying again.

Thanks for the comment though Julie

John xx

Hello Bob here

All seems to going well for you at the moment, you will be feeling a little concerned that you need to get the grades so you can continue with your education, so you will feel a little bit on high DOO.

You seem to be involved with your music so that will assist in relaxation. It seems a little irritating that a so called good friend that is rampaging through a list of women is wanting to go out with your sister, I understand she is younger than you and that will restrict her life experiences. One problem here of course is that she will become resentful of your interference. It will most probably be a good idea to have words with this so called friend, go softly.

All the best

BOB

Hello Bob,

Thankyou for commenting, I havent really spoken to this so called 'best mate' that much lately, and I'm pretty sure he's a compulsive liar (Alot of my friends reckon so to) I have approached him about things like this in the past but he generally just denies it.

The problem I'm having is that I don't think I could ever forgive him if he ruined my sisters life, but I don't as you have said, want to make her resent me. She did ignore him though as she knows what he's like from what I've told her.

I may have to talk to him about it though, its good to get some advice from other people so thanks again

John

Your little sister is lucky to have such a protective and caring brother. I agree with Julie that she'll need to find out for herself how genuine he is or isn't, but I'm sure with your watchful eye over them he will treat her well. It all sounds very promising with uni and the music lessons. Try and let that be your focus for now x

Hey Lucy,

Yeah, I know she's a sensible person, she knows from what I've said before this happened that he is a bit of a dodgy character. It doesn't stop me from being a little worried as he has somehow so far been able to go from one relationship to another without space in between (He has done this alot in just the past month). Thankyou for posting though, I'll try to keep that out of mind as I know she can take care of herself.

Thanks

John x

Hi John how are you? I'm glad you keep this post short, as I feel when Posts

Get too long? They actually lose their impact, I would not worry too much

About your friend flirting with your sister, I'm sure she knows his Lothario reputation,

And really we all have to learn by doing or making our own mistakes. I certainly

Did,

You sound in better form and it must be nice to play the ukelele of an evening,

Take care of you,

Hannah

Hey Hannah,

I think I'm not doing to bad right now

Yeah I get what you mean, I sometimes get some satisfaction from emptying all my thoughts on posts, but long post after long post become more conversation and less immediate (Kinda thing). I know that she is well aware of what he is capable of and she isn't interested as far as I can tell, but it doesn't stop me from worrying a little.

Thanks for posting, I hope you are doing well

John

Hey John, glad to hear from you.

My experience is that us gentle and sensitive folks can be a target for nasty folk who lie and do crap like that, because we are always giving the benefit of the doubt - so look after yourself as well as your sis!

I'm glad you are teaching music and you've got into a Uni course that looks good.

Totally agree that relaxation exercises would be a good addition and to hazard a guess I suspect you won't be doing much exercise, so starting something like the couch to 5k programme would also help you

Hey again :),

Yeah I know what you mean, I'm kinda one of those people who really values the friends he has (As I don't have a great excess) and so ends up putting up with alot from some of them. My sis is a bit like me (But I've never really seen her in school). It does seem that we tend to get alot of grief from others though. My brothers far more assertive and was quite upfront about what he thought about the idea to him on facebook, then again my brother never liked him anyway.

You would be entirely right with that assumption, I used to do alot of cycling but a mixture of bad weather and lack of motivation has left it gathering rust in my back garden, So I might have to look into that. I always found exercise theraputic, but I'm a little too self conscious to go to a gym.

I'm not keen on the gym either, when I'm well I do triathlons, not to win but to compete against myself - they are great.

I've accepted as I've got older I only need a few true friends and that respect is a big element of true friendship. Just recently I've come to know I've got some real good friends watching my back

Hi John,

I'm just popping in. Thankyou for your last response, I really appreciate your understanding and patience.

And I'll reply to your messages soon, I've got tomorrow and the day after.

I think you should warn you sister about your friends' past behaviour with women and that you don't want her to get hurt. It better that you do this sooner rather than later, because there might come a point when - a young girl, who's perhaps still a bit naive (I'm not saying she is but pointing out she may be) - that she could become drawn in by his flirtations (especially because he's older) and in too deep to be receptive to anyone else. Lastly explain that you're there to offer her support if she ever wants to talk about it. Keep your eyes open, I'm wondering if it's also worth informing your mum about this - perhaps she could talk your sister on the quiet - and even your friend's mum, not necessarily to get involved, but to keep an eye out. I hope it can be sorted out.

Be as honest as you like. That's what this site is here for.

I'm really glad to read some of your positive developments and - even though your apprehensive about whether this might change, it's good that your acknowledging the positives. Well done on getting that offer, and good luck with getting the grades. Remember, any negatives that occur don't actually take away the positives. Try not to stress about coursework - although I know that's easier said than done. I did my A level English Coursework (which was pretty big), in small chunks. Keep submitting it for feedback, at whatever opportunity, and get all the help you can get.

And I'm glad you posted again.

Big (((HUGS)))

wanderingwallflower xx

Hey Fay,

Its fine, as I said reply when your able

Luckily my sister is aware of what he's like from what I've said before, and my mum, dad and brother are aware of my mate doing this. What really bothers me is that I don't think I'd find out, I know he tends to keep to himself within his family about alot of this so I think he might have assumed that I wasn't all that close to my sister, which I hope he now realises is wrong. I'm probably going to text her tomorrow to see how shes doing. I wouldn't put it past my mate to have tried again, he always says that the girls start talking to him, but I know for almost deffinate that its the other way round. (Again part of him being a compulsive liar). I also get on rather well with his mum, and she knows what he's like so it may also be a good idea to tell her when I next go over to look after his brother or something.

I'm trying my best to keep positive, but as I said, I tend to have lots of ups and downs frequently. my ethics is all exam so its mainly essay plans etc and revising, and I have been making lists to help me order and work on all the tasks for my ict as other wise the coursework gets a little too overwhelming.

Thanks for posting

Big (((HUGS)))

John xxxx

Hi John,

I'm glad you've heard from your first choice! I remember waiting for UCAS track notifications last year, it was so scary. What course is it you've got an offer for? (Sorry if you've already mentioned it but I didn't notice)

I like that you do Philosophy and Ethics! I'm studying Theology at uni and want to be an RE teacher, so if you have any Philosophy and Ethics questions I can try to help you out. Sometimes it's just how these ancient philosophers word their ideas that's the hardest part! What is your coursework topic?

Hope you're still doing okay

Clare

Hey Clare,

Thankyou for commenting, I am really releaved, even though they didn't offer me the course I went for I'm still pretty sure I want to go there to study this new course. I don't think I did mention the course, but I was hoping originally to study Computer Animation (Though the last time I animated, as a hobby was about 2 -3 years ago and I haven't picked it back up). I have been offered a space in a course called Entertainment Technology, which still covers animation, but also other areas such as computer design and music, which means I know that they'll be something in there I'll enjoy, and so I won't be quite so stuffed if I don't really get back into animation.

Thats cool I find Ethics and Philosophy really interesting, though when I talk about it at home, my family aren't quite so good at understanding it. The wording can be a little counter intuitive, don't know if you've gone into St Anselms arguments for the existance of God (This was last year so I don't know if this is completely right) but a rather good example of confusing phrasing is the way when he argues one of his points for the existance of God he describes God as 'That than which nothing greater can be thought' Which often seems a little bit confusing but proves integral to the argument itself.

It can be tiring at times (As we have to cover as much of the silibus as possible, and covering everything isn't possible in the time we're given), but I generally find it all rather interesting. At the moment we're covering two different topics with our two different teachers (One each), which are Religious Experience, and Virtue Ethics (Which we've just started).

I hope this isn't too long, I tend to ramble on about things alot, with ethics and philosophy I could probably do so for hours. I'm still doing okay at the moment, thank you for posting and I hope you continue to enjoy your studies at uni

John