Update

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd post an update for those that care/ were following my progress. I'm back in hospital at the moment after another more serious overdose attempt. I took over 200 tablets, and actually ended up in a short coma for just over a day. I'm now receiving treatment and fending off any admission to a psych hospital, as I really really think it'll make things a lot worse for me.

Trying to see past this. But each attempt just makes me feel like a failure.

The rose in my picture is a result of recent attempts to distract myself. Drawing distracted me for about an hour, but I just end up getting frustrated with my lack of talent! If anyone has any suggestions for distraction techniques for self harm while I can't harm in hospital, I would be really grateful as I don't have many resources here.

Thank you

[ThemysciraDrive]

Lack of talent?! When you first put that picture up, I thought it was a professional one you'd downloaded or something!

{{{{Hugs}}}} You aren't a failure. You have depression. It isn't any reflection on you.

[Jeffju]

Looks to me as though you are very talented. I drew a Santa the other day and ,truly, a 6 year old could have done better.

I would think sketching would be very theraputic, so keep on doing that .

Thinking of you Julie xx

[Gambit62]

The picture is really good so think it is the depression/inner voice of self doubt that is telling you you aren't talented - listen to the external voices instead

Are you really sure that an admission wouldn't help? - I'm sure things have changed a lot from your mothers day. Also, if it is a voluntary admission then you can always just discharge yourself if it really isn't helping ... I walked out of a voluntary admission but that was even a few years before your mother would have been in the hospital.

Sometimes we really fight against things - particularly when we associate them with bad memories - and yet when we try them they can be helpful.

[Stilltrying_]

Lilly here's the link for distraction techniques.

teenhelp.org/forums/f12-sel...

[Hidden]

Hi Lilly

It may sound crazy, but I have always found that distraction tends to just delay the problem. Instead I have expressed how I feel when at my vest worse, either by writing it all in distressed or enraged letters to someone (for example on this website) or else telling someone (in my case a therapist). I find doing either of those results in a more permanent change. I wonder do you have anyone you can talk to, whether you are seeing anyone for talking therapies?

Suex

[Stilltrying_]

Also Lilly not sure if this will help but have you tried up looking up about people who feel similar to you. eg. the following link bpdajourney.wordpress.com/. This may or not help you but I am just offering it as something for you to possibly read or ignore if it "triggers" you too much.

[gardengnome]

hi lilly I was thinking about you just now. I wonder if you are being creative just for the fun of it now?

It has been good to see you giving advice to some of the other community members. I guess what we say to other people here, are often the very things we need to have said to ourselves. I know the site itself can sometimes act as a bit of a trigger in itself, and I hope that instead you are surrounding yourself with things that make you laugh and smile...

Anyway I just wanted to send you hugs and good wishes for the coming year. All the best . A.