Well after feeling like a nutcase not being able to seprrate thoughts from reality having night terrors halusinations feeling lost...

[Lvmyboys]

Iv just seen it on bbc breakfast mothers speaking out saying they've also had this makes me feel alittle normal now, but why does the people around me look and treat me like I'm mad it's blatent there on tv people suffer this....

[Hidden]

Hi, Can you explain a bit more as with what you have written it is hard to know how to support you. You are clearly NOT mad! Sue

[Lvmyboys]

Well we're to start I first got postal depression with my first son 7yr ago I recovered and was fine I got it again with my 3yr old straight after he was born I found out I had problems with my womb after tests it also shown I'd got caught pregnant straight after due to my health I was advised not to go through with it there was a high risk to my life not jus health I had a termination everybody else prosidure was simple not mine I fell unconscious due to hemoraging had emergency opp ona side ward was really poorly afterwards I also hated myself I felt bad n evil, I went to work to explain why I needed time off my boss screamed at me told me everything I was thinking wa true I was evil, after getting better in my health n being monitored we decided have another baby he's now 15 month, since the termination I have had night terrors actually believing daemons are dragging me to hell I felt like my life was in danger iv thought all horrid things were happening to me, realising Demons arnt taking me or hurting me because there not real iv shifted this onto my partner he's real so it's him doing this to me iv been In a vicious circle and only now I can see iv been nutty, but my partner is now in custody for these things he's not done the police refuse to take a retraction statement as they want a conviction as they don't like him coz of a past conviction years before we met, when I told police that iv not been able seprrate these thought from reality they won't have any contact with me they looked at me like I'm crazy but after seeing on tv mums actually have been through this I'm not mad at all...xx

[Hidden in reply to Lvmyboys]

Hi

You have had a hard time of things. The Police cannot refuse your retraction - if they go ahead with you offering evidence that you were wrong in what you originally said because you now realise it was due to your being ill they will lose the case. You might point that out to them. Is it possible for your psychiatrist (if you do not have one then maybe you could ask your GP) to offer a statement to the Police confirming that you thought the things you said were reality but now you realise they were part of your state of mind at the time and that at the time you were mentally ill - then you can retract your statement to the Police and that will sort out your husband being prosecuted. You might then talk with your husband about what has been happening to you and see whether there is any hope for your relationship. You are clearly not crazy now but having a serious reaction such as thinking you were evil or that your husband was IS a sign that you were mentally ill at the time and it does matter that you are able to accept that in order that you are taken seriously now. Insight is the most important factor in deciding whether someone is delusional (ie believing things that are not reality) and if you deny the past then you are doing yourself no good.

Suexx

[Gambit62]

Glad that you have seen other people who have been through the same thing.

Unfortunately your experiences are very different from those that most people have and that is why they are finding it so difficult to believe it all.

Was there a help line at the end of the programme that you could ring? or did they suggest a support group you could contact?

I really think you have done all that you can do in relation to the police and the CPS as I think you had medical reports from your GP explaining what has happened, though it sounds like what you are experiencing, whilst uncommon, isn't unheard of - may be you could speak to your GP and see if she is aware of any studies that have been done on the area - if there are medical articles that have been written on this then you could may be get copies of them and present them to the police. May be the producers of the show that you watched might be able to help.

[Lvmyboys]

Yes but will prob cost a fortune ring it was bbc breakfast news it's been on this morning to there specialising midwives to help in these situations think you have pay tho! It's good to see it being acknowledged and I'm having CBT starting from next week maybe they can point me in right direction, I can honestly see why mums take there lives or do crazy things, if I ever win lottery I'd pay for something be put in place if I didn't see what iv been going thro I could of taken my life and my children would have deal with that I just hope we get dad back soon then we can move forwards! Thank you and this site just having someone talk to means so much xxx