loneliness n sadness

I have never been so sad and alone in my life as i am today. I do nothing the whole day just waste time by watching tv. I don't want to do anything,don't want to be succesful in my life. Feels like larger part of my body is missing. I gained weight, i don't have senses of what and how much i am eating. I want to be alone throughout my whole life. It seems difficult to spend my life without my sister. Sometimes i think of suicide but don't find courage to commit. I don't know if i could move on because i don't think i could do it. There is lots of sadness,loneliness,bad temper,frustration,irritation. I don't want to marry,i just want death... I love her and miss her...

[anbuma]

hi there

I am not the best person or in any way qualified to offer medical advice.i dont want to in any way add to anything you are experiencing and am sorry if my choice of words distress you in any way but I gather that your sister is no longer with you and you are alone right now.do you not have family and friends and are you seeing a doctor for this.?if you are at home and unable to work ,have you considered getting a canine friend?my dogs have helped me tremendously and are always there for me in good times and bad and are the best companions and I can assure you will bring some joy into your life.

[Hidden in reply to anbuma]

we are not together now...i do not have much friends..only a single friend and he is far away..i can't tell my family about it because i haven't that much sharing with my family...and there is no doctor in nearby city or town...

[WantToChange]

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear that. It is horrible to lose the ones we love, to death or drifting apart.

There's nothing wrong with wasting the day with tv :p. I love to do this, it gives me time to soothe my anxiety, nothing can go wrong when you are watching tv :).

I understand the loneliness, I feel lonely a bit just now. Almost everything is going wrong for me right now. Something is about to happen which will send me into depression, probably tonight or the next few days when the realisation hits. I will blame myself for it even though it's not my fault. I have often felt so worthless that I have wished to die.

Have you spoken to your doctor? If you cannot go to work you should speak to someone in case this gets worse.

What happened to your sister, if you feel you can write about it? xx

[Hidden in reply to WantToChange]

she is married,she is not my real sister just a relation that was made because of need for a sister...i am a student who had a dream of successful life having a government job..but i am unable to concentrate upon my life...i am not serious about it...saddest thing is i do not have any doctor for consulting or talking to....please read last posts by me to know about past coz i can't write much about it...

[Hidden]

Hello

You have been visiting this site for near on over six months and I can feel the unhappiness you feel towards your Sister/Step Sister.

Has your sister now married, your relationship I feel was really intense, and I wonder what happened to break this suffocating relationship, I really cannot bring myself to understand how deep this relationship had become and the reasons for this destructive breakup

Do I understand wright that She began to have a relationship with someone who She was keen on and this may have eventually brought about Her married life and this caused a volcanic break up between the both of you as She may have thought the relationship you suffered was that sort of relationship She wanted.?.

From what was written in the past certain things you mentioned seemed not to match with a Western Relationship, if this is not the case I am sorry that I have inferred this.

Also I wonder if all this became worse and the relationship began to fail when both of you were going out with different people ??

Remember life is really there to live and we have to realise that the actual learning can be very painful to all of us.

We all need to carry on through life when we have realised the learning of that lesson and we just gone through. Many of these classrooms all have the scratch marks of lectures painfully studied, the way forward is to become stronger in ourselves so that we will really benefit from them and we become a better person in their learning.

We never learn from our suicides we sadly are supposed to be reborn and have to relive the lessons we failed to learn from, that really puts the fear of life in me, especially if I had to go through this learning time again, it would be like sitting an examination over and over again. That would be one thing I would not want to do, do you agree.?

All the best, keep a hold

BOB

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

she is married..months have passed but i am still clinging to her...i don't know why but i am unable to forget her...valued her more than my family...i wasn't happy for her engagement and marriage,moreover i didn't go to her marriage...my rude behavior started irritating her and she stopped talking to me..started avoiding me..i told her i was mentally affected but she couldn't understand (as i was expecting)..she wanted me to cure it or adjust with the situation as soon as possible...after marriage i didn't call her but i messaged her sometimes..but she didn't reply..i feel down there is no one to help me...i told her that i have tried to commit suicide 2 to 3 times before meeting her...i said sorry to her many times by texting her but there was no reply...it was not a blood relation...i don't find any courage to move on,no help,nothing...there are less or no positive things than more negative things..

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hello

I am so sorry that your life has taken such a radical pathway, we all need at times to reassess our life and requirements when we have entered adulthood.

Life is never kind, and we all suffer loss and sadness when we loose someone we love, whether it is life or death. This is not helped when we suffer these sad feeling when we enter adulthood.

The changes in your life and family when your mother was so cruel would not be easy and have reached out to someone who initially ran with your feelings and a closeness formed that would eventually burn out is not uncommon

Sadly when your friend moved on her interests moved on towards the man she was going too marry. When this happened you most probably tried to gain her attention, She resented that as now her life choice had been decided, you then demanded more from her and tried to blackmail her into taking more attention towards you. Hence the problems you find yourself in.

All I can suggest is now you try and put this all behind you as many other people would do, we all suffer this in early life, generally we meet someone and that person wants to finish a relationship, and the partner does not want the relationship to end a conflict begins and feelings of the spurned can be really extreme.

Realise you are on a hiding for nothing here you are not unusual here it is very common and you need to let go.

You will not suffer death suicide or anything else and you will need to carry on with your life, an adventure awaits and some very kind, understanding people are out there and eventually these horrible feelings will be filed away as a learning exercise

Possibly this women will eventually come around and and you will both learn from this experience.

We all suffer when love goes on and it can really be messy with the embers burn down.

We all have to bounce back and realise we are on a journey of learning, that will make us all a more rounded person, for this to happen you need to let go and progress through your life, as it is an adventure waiting to happen

If you need more support, you know were we are, you need not be a stranger.

All the very best

BOB

[Stilltrying_]

Hi it sounds like you may be in love with this lady and it sounds like a very difficult situation for you. For you maybe it was the love of your life but she has moved on and now finds you irritating or does not want to aknowledge the relationship you had before. Sorry if i have misunderstood this. In England our culture can be different but it certainly sounds like you are very attached to her and she no longer wants that attachment.

As well it sounds like your family do not understand you and have not being supportive of you with your mother beating you and that you have tried to commit suicide 2 or 3 times even before you met her. It seems there is a long history for you of feeling isolated and unhappy . It may help you to think more about your background and when your feelings of depression started and to write about that as they happened before you met this girl/lady. I know it can be painful but the more we understand about your situation the more we are able to help you.

Do you still live at home? Do you have brothers, sisters etc? What are your relations like with your family now? You say you are a student. What is it you are studying and what is your age? Are there any people at college you can confide in about your depression?

Sorry for all the questions. Please feel free to write more . Gemmalouise x